[B][COLOR=black][B] Michigan[/B][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][B] Yoopers Declare War on the [/B][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][B]U.S.A.[/B][/COLOR][/B]
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[COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][COLOR=black]Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.[/COLOR]
[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black]“Hallo, President Obama?” a heavily accented Yooper voice said. "This is Sven, up[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]here at Olie’s Bar and [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Steak House in Bruce [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Crossing, [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Michigan[/COLOR][COLOR=black]. I am callin’ to tell[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
“Well Sven,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”[/COLOR]
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“Right now,” said Sven, after a moment’s calculation “there is myself, my cousin Olie,
my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Pine’s Bar.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]That makes eight.”
Barack paused.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] “I must tell you Sven that I have one million men in my army waiting to
move on my command.”[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]“Wow,” said Sven.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] “I’ll have to call ya back!”[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]Sure enough, the next day, Sven called again.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black] “Mr. Obama, the war is still on![/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]“And what equipment would that be Sven?”[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Barack asked. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]“Well sir, we have two 4-wheelers, a snowmobile, and Harry’s trail grooming machine.” [/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]President Obama sighed.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]“I have tell you Sven, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel [/COLOR][COLOR=black]carriers. [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million [/COLOR][COLOR=black]since we [/COLOR][COLOR=black]last spoke.”
“Lord above”, said Sven, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”
Sure enough, Sven rang again the next day, "President Obama, the war is still on![/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]We have[/COLOR]
[COLOR=black]managed to git ourselves airborne![/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]We up an’ modified Olie’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, [/COLOR][COLOR=black]and [/COLOR][COLOR=black]four boys from the coffee shop have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Sven that I
have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]My military complex is[/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]surrounded
by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile [/COLOR][COLOR=black]sites. [/COLOR][COLOR=black]And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Oh Lord,” said Sven, “l’ll have to call you back.”
Sure enough, Sven called again the next day[/COLOR][COLOR=black]… [/COLOR][COLOR=black]"[/COLOR][COLOR=black]President Obama![/COLOR][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=black]I am sorry to have to
tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
“I’m sorry to hear that” said Barack[/COLOR][COLOR=black]. [/COLOR][COLOR=black]“Why [/COLOR][COLOR=black]the sudden change of heart?”
Well, sir," said Sven, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few
beers, and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed two million prisoners.”
[/COLOR][COLOR=black]MICHIGAN[/COLOR][COLOR=black] CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
If you’re from [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Michigan[/COLOR][COLOR=black], you won’t even need to be told to pass this on.
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