A Marine Story

I’m sure yall have seen this but it is funny.

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effing bitches all of them!

just as c.captain said!

and as a side note c.captain found something for ya!
http://www.keepbusy.net/play.php?id=anti-aging-secret-revealed-on-news

[QUOTE=suburbredneck;81995]just as c.captain said!

and as a side note c.captain found something for ya![/QUOTE]

Bless you for that sir…it’s still staggering how he left us so suddenly. One day he’s fit and funny…then a trip to the hospital and lights out! In one sense that is good to be vibrant right up till the end and to make it so long. I hope I am that fortunate but it still shows us how transitory it all is in the end. We’re here one day and gone the next. Nothing can be taken for granted and you really and truly do need to live each and every day as if it is your last and of course, to also masturbate a lot as well (watch the clip)! My lust for Xena stimulates this old man quite nicely. Fuck the effing pills…let that muscle atrophy and not much left to keep a man going! You certainly couldn’t miss Gretchen Carlson’s reaction! HA!

//youtu.be/3I_PeLNzxNQ

Damned, I hope to get to be that guy when I grow up!

.

[QUOTE=c.captain;82037]Bless you for that sir…it’s still staggering how he left us so suddenly. One day he’s fit and funny…then a trip to the hospital and lights out! In one sense that is good to be vibrant right up till the end and to make it so long. I hope I am that fortunate but it still shows us how transitory it all is in the end. We’re here one day and gone the next. Nothing can be taken for granted and you really and truly do need to live each and every day as if it is your last and of course, to also masturbate a lot as well (watch the clip)! My lust for Xena stimulates this old man quite nicely. Fuck the effing pills…let that muscle atrophy and not much left to keep a man going! [/QUOTE]

I’m keeping a close eye on you, Buster, I’m thinking you just might have been Ragnar in another place, another time.

[QUOTE=c.captain;82037]Damned, I hope to get to be that guy when I grow up![/QUOTE]

You just might get your wish c.captain,
Ragnar the Avenging Seaman.

[QUOTE=Sweat-n-Grease;82069]I’m keeping a close eye on you, Buster, I’m thinking you just might have been Ragnar in another place, another time.[/QUOTE]

I have to admit in my many many years I have never seen this epic picture nor until now even knew of its existence! Maybe this is has been for a specific reason known only to the Cosmos however in the short clip Ragnar seems to be quintessential Brognine but the movie seems to be truly distasteful as only epics from that era of Hollywood could be. I also find Tony Curtiss’s booty shorts to be particularly visually noxious.

Ok, been to IMDB and came up with these jewels there:

[U]WILL SOMEONE STOP THE BLANKETY-BLANK MUSIC!!!,[/U]

Holy Odin, I didn’t think a movie about the action-packed lifestyle of the Vikings could be this bad…but it is! Starting with the home voyage to Norway, we see beautiful photography of the Alps with a pleasant little tune that sounds like returning home…but it doesn’t stop! It goes on and on until the boat reaches the view of the lookouts. Then THEY start playing it, on their Matterhorns no less! I didn’t realize that those horns could play so many notes. Then we cut to an orgy of a feast with on of the most sexist displays on film. A supposedly unfaithful wife is tied to a wheel while her husband throws axes at her.

Then Kirk Douglas, who we have seen earlier carrying on with her joins in the “fun”. He gets his due by getting his eye pecked out by slave Tony Curtis’ hawk. He spends the rest of the movie not doing the tasteful thing and wearing a patch, but instead grimaces with his blind eye. Tony’s punishment is to be chained to a rock during the coming in of the tide while sceaming “Odin!” (AGAIN AND AGAIN) to the sky. Does he die? Ha, not a chance with his pedigree.

That’s when I gave up and left the room. OK, maybe I left too early, missing the climactic duel between the (disabled) Douglas and Curtis, but I think that my sanity could not have stood it. If someone wants to combat my judgement please feel free to, but I think that there are many people out there who probably had the same take that I did.

[U]Tony Curtis’s thighs; beauty and its disfiguration[/U]

This is basically a high budget toga movie, with Vikings instead of Greek gods and warriors. Like most such action movies, the script is very weak and has lots of holes in it. Character motivation is sometimes missing, etc.

But two things make it interesting:

  1. Some of the photography, especially that shot in the fjords of Norway, is really very beautiful.
  1. There is a fascination with male beauty and its disfiguration that I found strange. From early on in the movie, emphasis is placed on the beauty of Kirk Douglas’s face. Then he is badly disfigured by a falcon. Also, throughout the movie poor Tony Curtis is made to wear the Viking equivalent of hot pants: we are always looking at his uncovered thighs. (It gave me some idea of what women must feel like when they see a woman scantily clad in a movie so as to appeal to the male gaze.) Then he, too, is disfigured. (Female beauty is neither uncovered nor disfigured in this movie.) I won’t try to guess why this happens. Nor am I about to read the novel on which it was based, to see if that is an issue there as well. I just found it strange on the one hand to see poor Tony Curtis all the time in such short shorts, and then to see the repeated fascination with the disfiguration - always violent - of male physical beauty. Strange.

So then, an action movie with lots of action that didn’t distract me from the absence of a decent script. Some very beautiful photography. And a strange fascination with male beauty.

The tawdriness of “The Vikings” is reminiscent of abominable “Krakatoa, East of Java”! Now that’s one mind blowing horrific movie worthy of many days to pillory!

Sorry SnG, but I had to put on my movie critic hat for a moment. I so rarely get to do that here.

“Sorry old man, but I had to put on my movie critic hat for a moment. I so rarely get to do that here”

Old Man ye say - Sir, I am in my prime

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