I’ve got no experience seafaring yet, and I’m concerned about what would happen if I was stuck at sea with someone who had it out for me. During basic training in the Army a couple of guys would intentionally smack me to wake me up at night, so I’d get no sleep at all. In that situation there seemed to be nothing I could do since the Sargeants didn’t care. Is there anything that prevents abusive behavior among crew members?
Harassment should be handled by taking the following steps:
- Document all incidents/correspondence with parties involved (e.g., the harasser, supervisors, HR, etc.)
- Tell the person to stop
- Report the problem to a superior if it doesn’t stop
- Contact HR if the problem is not remedied
Antagonizers were handled much differently where I grew up, but this is how things are done in current-day corporate America. More than anything, taking the HR route covers [I]your[/I] ass. Even if the person deserves a solid thumping, doing so will leave you [B]both[/B] out of work and money. It should also be noted that the maritime sector isn’t the best career choice if you can’t handle crass humor and a good-natured ribbing.
Do not come to sea.
Mcdonalds is probably hiring, and if you’re already worried about hazing, I would just apply there.
If you’re not an unreliable, lazy piece of shit, who has no common sense and has no clue why they’re at sea, nobody should ever give you any problems. Maybe ask you to tune the radar with tin foil or fetch a bottle of prop wash, but that’s about it.
Let me tell you a story about why I recommend dealing with those situations in the manner I suggest. About a decade ago I was working at a remote jobsite doing inspection for a state project (Davis-Bacon wages $$$). Anyways, the superintendent for the road crew was this morbidly obese, insufferable prick that never showered–you were hit with a wall of eye-watering stench when you walked into his office. He was good at his job, I’ll give him that, but he was im-fucking-possible to get along with… and I tried because my job required me to interact with him almost daily. Long story short, he and I had a disagreement about a material specification one day. We went back and forth, neither of us budging, and things got pretty heated. At one point he pulled out a knife and threatened to stab me. Now, I doubt he was good on his word, but I take that sort of thing pretty seriously. So I told him, “If you ever talk that way to me again, I’ll kick your fucking teeth in.” Turns out a project manager in an adjacent office overheard our exchange and reported us. Guess who was sitting next to me on the chopper home… In my opinion, not worth the lost wages and awkward meeting with my bosses at the home office.
…also, sorry you joined the Army. Out of all the branches, that’s like just a baby step above fucking Air Mamaboy Force.
Did you ever figure out why they were waking you up? If you were a shitbird on the Army you’ll have a tough time in the fleet.
However if it was just some hazing there really isn’t that much if you show you are willing to work hard and learn.
So why is it that out of all the replies to this question, only one person actually responded in a positive manner? Everyone else just assumed that Evergreenmonster was the problem and deserved the hazing. That really makes the rest of you look like the people who do the hazing.
[QUOTE=sjöman;187121]…also, sorry you joined the Army. Out of all the branches, that’s like just a baby step above fucking Air Mamaboy Force.[/QUOTE]
My dad was in the Army for 30 years, two tours in Vietnam as a Pathfinder (volunteered), and retired as a Division Sargent Major in 1993 after a stint within NATO command structure, and is still working at 70 years old in Hohenfels as a contractor. I believe he would disagree with your comment - each service has a certain function. I have family in every branch, but I did break that chain. As a senior in high school, I thought about the Navy once and mentioned this to dad. He basically told me that he rather see my sister in a whorehouse than me joining the Navy…so I went offshore.
Oh, and for the original poster…there is no need to worry about harassment. It is taken very seriously and each company will have a policy, more than likely a number will posted within a crew common area.
You stop a bully by being a bully. If people woke me up in the middle of the night, when their sleeping I would wake them up in a worse manor. Grow a pair buddy
[QUOTE=nickninevah;187128]So why is it that out of all the replies to this question, only one person actually responded in a positive manner? Everyone else just assumed that Evergreenmonster was the problem and deserved the hazing. That really makes the rest of you look like the people who do the hazing.[/QUOTE]
The OP seems like trolling to me but H Abe’s answer is correct in that harassment should be reported up the chain, assuming systematic harassment and not just getting growled at for something.
[QUOTE=Evergreenmonster;187075]I’m concerned about what would happen if I was stuck at sea with someone who had it out for me.[/QUOTE]
Makes me think of the movie “Dead Calm”
[QUOTE=nickninevah;187128]So why is it that out of all the replies to this question, only one person actually responded in a positive manner? Everyone else just assumed that Evergreenmonster was the problem and deserved the hazing. That really makes the rest of you look like the people who do the hazing.[/QUOTE]
I don’t really agree with that impression. I think that a lot of people do have a perception that if someone is bullied (especially repeatedly) there is probably something about them that is attracting that kind of attention. I am NOT saying that it’s OK to bully someone but if this guy has had a repeat history of being picked on, I am not sure that an environment where you are “captive” 24/7 is the best place to work. There is NO WAY for people to avoid him, or for him to avoid others.
[QUOTE=WickedWench;187133]You stop a bully by being a bully. If people woke me up in the middle of the night, when their sleeping I would wake them up in a worse manor. Grow a pair buddy[/QUOTE]
Although most would agree with above, and I do have a little mean streak myself, but on most ships in today’s world, if there was an altercation, the pair you grow would most likely be the one needed to talk with your wife about losing your job over something stupid. Best case it would be disagreement that doesn’t need to be “managed” or elevated to the level of the vessel Master, which would essentially become an HR decision, and those type of decisions never go very well for the involved parties.
That is exactly why most companies have numbers & harassment polices posted, the Master usually does not have the latitude to manage this internally, since there is a good chance one of the employees already made a call.
[QUOTE=WickedWench;187133]You stop a bully by being a bully. If people woke me up in the middle of the night, when their sleeping I would wake them up in a worse manor. Grow a pair buddy[/QUOTE]
All this bullshit anti-bullying has gotten way out of hand. The whole world has become way too sissified.
Bullying is for people who love paperwork.
People who love paperwork belong in an office.
The rest of us have work to do: no time for that crap.
Getting along with people is an art.
I had a crewmate who was hard to get along with. He would non-stop jibberjabbercashit from noon until midnight. He felt he was getting bullied because one guy in particular told him in less-than-polite terms to clam up. This advise was universally approved of among those of us who shared the working space. The annoying crewmate made a case of it. Meetings were held. The captain heard the (very long and butt-hurt) story of the man who felt that he was being bullied. Then he heard the story of the man accused of bullying: “He won’t stop talking. I wish he would stop talking.” I was lurking in the corridor, needing to have something signed. The captain gave the most world-weary sigh I ever heard. He said to the bullied guy: “Can you do that?” That was the end of the conflict. Those 4 words taught me more about conflict resolution and being a leader than any HR delivered PowerPoint or email memo or seminar has ever done.
Can you do that?
Genius.
[QUOTE=sjöman;187121]…also, sorry you joined the Army. Out of all the branches, that’s like just a baby step above fucking Air Mamaboy Force.[/QUOTE]
The original special ops forces were troops selected from US and Canadian [U]Army[/U] units and trained as paratroopers. In WWII, they parachuted or landed in gliders in the dark of night behind enemy lines and kicked ass. They were known as the Devil’s Brigade and the Germans feared them. British and Norwegians [U]Army[/U] troops also engaged in the same type of operations to engage in sabotage inside Germany. My old man was in the Devil’s Brigade. The Belgians and French were grateful to him and a few of his mates to the point of flying them back there to honor them during their 50 year anniversary celebration of armistice. He’s no longer with us but if he was still around, I assure you your statement to his face would result in your getting your nourishment through a straw long enough to make you think twice about repeating it.
One of the Golden Rules of going to sea is: “Don’t let your shipmates know what really bugs you.” Reason being that if you do, on a four month trip you will become the daily entertainment.
Life is full of butt heads, but at sea distancing yourself from them is nearly impossible. You have to be ready to stand up for yourself. In the late seventies, on my fourth trip to sea, second in the deck department, I was Ordinary Seaman on a tanker carrying a load of grain to Bangladesh. Everyone knew it was a run to the sphincter of the earth. I was young, hard working and eager to learn. I also had very long hair at the time. The Bosun was a big, stupid, illiterate, “Mobilean” (no offense intended to citizens of that fair city!) He decided I was fair game and was going to be his entertainment for the voyage. He started a daily routine at coffee time of greeting me with statement’s such as: “Hey darling, you sure look cute today, come over here and sit in your big Bosun’s lap there Sugar Nipples” etc., etc. Four months or more of this was going to make for a very long voyage so I decided to shut him down the next time he started into his shit. So at the next coffee time when the Bosun greeted me with: “Hey Sweet Pea you sure look darling there”. I replied “Bosun I get off the deck at 16:00 every day and shuck down and hop in the shower, why don’t you meet me there and do the same and we’ll see who fucks who!” The pumpman (an old shipmate of the Bosun’s from Mobile) was listening and when the Bosun was sputtering a reply said: “What’s the matter with you Robert, the cat got your tongue? I think you’re scared that long haired Ordinary is going to Fuck the Shit out of you!” Long and short, I didn’t hear any more guff from the Bosun. Going to sea is hard enough, you don’t need unnecessary B.S. This approach worked for me for thirty eight years.
To the female mariners out here, you’re not alone in getting hassled. Like it or not, fair or not, it is still a man’s world. Be a good shipmate, righteous in your deportment and do your job the best you can and when someone is giving you a hard time blast them with both barrels and watch their little willies shrivel. If that doesn’t work tell the Master that you want to use the Sat-Phone and call the companies’ HR department!
If the captain communicates to the officers and crew that bullying or just being an asshole in general is not acceptable it encourages the crew to both take action on their own to suppress it or to report it if necessary knowing they are supported and within their rights.
If I get a bully on the ship I get rid of them ASAP. It’s not necessary to put up with that kind of thing and it reduces crew effectiveness. It’s best taken care of quickly.
I’ve seen a lot of captains try to ignore problems hoping they go away but in my view that’s the wrong approach. Lay the ground work early then take care of business when it’s time.
Taking steps to imcrease crew effectiveness is just good seamanship.