Does anyone know what Transocean is paying first assistant engineers in the USGOM. I have an interview with them next week and was curious as to what they have to offer.
What ever they pay them is too much. They should just pay the DPO’s more.
Please hold that thought when your toilet stops working.
The engineers might just be renting the skippers basement, but that’s where the fuse box is!
[QUOTE=+A465B;79607]Please hold that thought when your toilet stops working.[/QUOTE]
What would change? I would pick up the phone and you would make it work. That is what happens, we break it and you fix it.
Sorry Cap’n !
It seems the unexpected failure of your toilet has affected the operation of the entire sewage plant. We did manage to isolate your branch line and remove the toilet until the parts come in.
Otherwise the entire system will go down, and sorry, the client is occupying every spare cabin and berth. There is a day head on the next deck that you can use, but the toilet there is a different type, so we cannot strip the parts to fix yours. Sadly, your toilet is the only toilet aboard of that type, apparently some sort of wide ride version with extra throughput capacity.
The Client has complained about the spare facilites with so many people aboard at this special time, but it is what we have and the Sales Department knew when they stroked that $585k / day 10 year contract – that we had only this many toilets aboard. No - the Company Man will not give up his cabin, and honestly, I am reluctant to ask him a third time for you.
We definitely ordered the parts some time ago to keep our stock levels up (see email copy of order, dated 45 days ago), but the MTBF for that part was estimated at 227 years. The requisition was misplaced at the office, and now that it is a real emergency – the regional office in Singapore is on holiday for Chinese New Year week. The duty person is an accountant and is having a difficult time tracking down someone at the (closed) factory in Wuhan. Stavanger has searched for it and it cannot be sourced in Europe, it was a custom part made only for the Korean market. Houston has had no luck, because, well the parts are metric and well, Varco doesn’t make it. However, we will attempt to machine a replacement from some Unobtainium we keep in a very special place.
However, this must wait, because the thruster that sucked that 9 inch line you guys dropped overboard has a little problem with the pitch control, and since it got wrapped up reeal good, it appears to have damaged some seals - so we are a little busy at the moment. We got the oil leakage under control quickly but the foriegn authorities, Company Man, OIM and Rig Manager are having a big argument about something in the forward conference room.
What happened, anyway? It seems we will not only have to repair the toilet, but will have to root out over 12 meters of the branch line. There is some kind of shredded pink rubber thing stuck in the line. The engineers are pretty upset, and rig manager mentioned starting a RCA, but now with the handcuffs on, he seems to be a little busy to bother me any more about it.
Oh yeah, when we break the lines to root your branch of black water branch line, we will have to remove the overhead in the galley and the adjacent meeting room. Due to other operations and personnel hazards likely to be encountered, the only available slot is 05h00. We should be done by 08h30. I’ve got the JSA riiiight here, and due to the severity of the situation, trust you will have no problem with that.
Have a nice day - See you after the morning meeting Cap!
Senior Maint. Supv.
So, can you fix it or not? And what kind of time frame are we looking at?
Sorry cap now there seems to be a problem with the A/C in your room as well. we will get on that just as soon as we get the shiters back online.
I do believe the AAA BATTERIES for the TV remote have gone missing. The satellite TV is also on the fritz. After the shitter is fixed I am sure the batteries will magically re appear. And when the AC is repaired the satellite TV will probably be on the same circuit.
If you know what I mean!?
[QUOTE=cappy208;79805]I do believe the AAA BATTERIES for the TV remote have gone missing. The satellite TV is also on the fritz. After the shitter is fixed I am sure the batteries will magically re appear. And when the AC is repaired the satellite TV will probably be on the same circuit.
If you know what I mean!?[/QUOTE]
Yes sir I worked on tugs for many years so I know what you mean. However now my days are spent, trying to explain to the ROV crew why a metric bolt won’t screw into a british satandard threaded hole, and that they have just ruined a high pressure manifold by trying. Then I get the dear in the head lights look, but can’t you fix it?
Or my favorite from yesterdays adventures. I had a academy third engineer come into the control room, he was in a bit of a panic, I asked him what is wrong. He procedes to tell me that a high pressure line just blew off the water maker. I calmly ask did you shut it down and secure all the valves. He tells me no chief, I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do about it.
Let me see, a high pressure hose has blown off the water maker spraying a 5/8 stream of water at 850 psi all over the pump room. Let me think should we shut it down and secure the valves, or just let it spray all over the place and flood the pump room.
SHUT THE EFFING THING DOWN. Jez crimity, these kids now days.
That is how my days go now, not really much time for TV any more.
We are pleased to report the black water branch line serving your room has been cleared. The fellows were a little sore about missing breakfast, but with all the sandy sludge, grey mist and pink rubber flying about, cooking and serving just seemed a bit “unseemly.” But none got into the coffee. We think. Anyway, we had the morning meeting in the hallway where the source of the problem was mentioned, so everything got done in good order.
We’ve already shown the rubber bits the motormen extracted from the pipe to everyone with a room on the same branch line as yours, but they deny using such a thing. Erling, that really big guy, will bring it up to the bridge so you can look it over as soon as he washes up.
The motormen are now claiming some sort of hazard pay and an additional 4 weeks at home, apparently allowed under their national contract. Please contact the coordinator so she can let their reliefs know they will be aboard for 6 weeks instead of just 2. According to the guidance notes on the HQ server and the triple time provision, this will cost only NOK 604,800 in wages, plus an additional NOK 36,900 for the “missed meal” supplement payable to each person aboard. Please also advise your best thoughts as to which cost code applies.
I do see some mention of pink rubber bits in the MSD macerator last week, right here in the maint supv’s handover notes. We will open out the MSD next.
We indeed await a reply from Singapore on the repair parts for your toilet, and the fellows in Houston are working on getting a reply. According to the email sent by the technical manager at 2:23 am Houston time, they know this good Chinese restaurant over by the Galleria, and the owner, Fong, is from Wuhan. Great news - they now have an inside track on getting an alootier modulator for your toilet at only 4,230 rmb plus a small service fee.
As mentioned by the chief, the HVAC in your room is proving problematic, but as soon as the fellows finish washing with iodine solution, Erling and the others that can still be imposed upon will come up and give it a look.
The good news is that when the authorities flew back, they took the OIM and company man with them for some sort of hearing. They even let them be cuffed in front during the flight. That was good of them. The guy you replaced was never heard from again, but he was cuffed with his hands behind his back. You shoulda seen the eyes on the pilot when he saw everyone chained together again. Although I didn’t understand the exact local word about wht the locals intend to do, it sounded like, “Humma-Bumma.” Regardless, a cabin is now free, and since operations had to be secured, you will have a moment to shift your gear into one of the free cabins before meeting with the warranty surveyors.
We will be unable to deal with the TV at this time. The ET’s and the 1st are troubleshooting the Nr. 2 thruster drive control cabinet, which apparently suffered some sort of spurious card failure from a current surge occurring after someone at the DP console repeatedly ignored the overload alarm and kept mashing buttons when that hawser was ingested. Yes, we will have to pay the supplement for keeping Henrik on duty this morning, but since he didn’t get breakfast — he really isn’t sleepy. Funny how he turns that bright red color when he is really upset. He mentioned the internet connection in your room was a bit touchy, and somehow the router got reset in the confusion and your access codes are now denied. I think the IT specialist in Singapore comes back in 2 weeks.
Please let us know if you find the batteries for that remote.
Good news and bad news.
The good news is that the thruster oil that leaked is naturally occurring “castor” oil, which the French technicians tell me is somehow harmlessly extracted from the scent glands of beavers. Although rare and costly, it has apparently found use in environmentally sensitive areas as a substitue for hydraulic oil. Although the thruster itself is still out of commission, the regional office was able to prove at the hearing that the oil that escaped is absolutely harmless to the environment. The charges have been dropped, although a service fee of some several hundred thousand dollars was apparently paid into a special holding account in Panama. The company man and OIM are on the way back this afternoon ! Man did he look pissed getting into the chopper.
The bad news is that since your toilet is still out of use unbtil Fong comes through with the modulator- you will have to shift your gear back out of the company mans’ room down to the smoking lounge, where there is a pull out sofa. Ask Mauricio for the keys, you know him - the angry looking fellow with the “MATADOR” tattoo on his forehead. He is a good friend of Erling & Henrik, and was the guy that had to clean up the galley this morning after we rooted the pipes.
Have you seen the new ad today on [I]RigZone[/I] for a Senior DPO ? Just posted, 8 am Houston time. Thought you might want to know.
Have you seen the new ad today on [I]RigZone[/I] for a Senior DPO ? Just posted, 8 am Houston time. Thought you might want to know.[/QUOTE]
I hope my senior DPO days are gone for ever!! My e-bay account has been inactive for several years now. Every good DPO has an E-bay account.
Don’t sweat it. All that silliness from the fictional maint supv is for the fictional Cap’n on the fictionally troubled imaginary ship-drill “TWISTED BIT.” Some days we just have to get away from it all and have a laugh at ourselves and the stuff we somehow all deal with…
Truth is stranger than fiction?
[QUOTE=Flyer69;79917]Truth is stranger than fiction?[/QUOTE]
The truth might make you wet your pants.
Of course !
The fun part is in the explaining of it. There isn’t a day passing when each of us doesn’t somehow poke fun at some fully predictable mess !
[QUOTE=Capt. Lee;79881]I hope my senior DPO days are gone for ever!! My e-bay account has been inactive for several years now. Every good DPO has an E-bay account.[/QUOTE]
This may have been one of the fastest thread hijackings in history! As a matter of curiousity, why does “[e]very good DPO [have] an E-bay account[?]”