Things I've learned livin' Louisiana


  1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle
    of the road.

  2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them
    live in Louisiana .

  3. There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000
    ; of them live in Louisiana .

  4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll
    bite cha.

  5. Onced" and “Twiced” are words.

  6. It is not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy.

  7. “Jawl-P?” means, “Did y’all go to the bathroom?”

  8. People actually grow and eat okra.

  9. “Fixinto” is one word.

  10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only
    dinner and then there is supper…

  11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you
    start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea
    with our sugar.

  12. Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin’
    'bout you.

  13. The word “jeet” is actually a phrase meaning, “Did
    you eat?”

  14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t
    matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it’s
    too dark to see…

  15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.

  16. You measure distance in minutes.

  17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

  18. All the festivals across the state are named after
    a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

  19. You know what a “Dawg” is.

  20. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own

  21. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony
    Chachere’s, Tabasco , and ketchup.

  22. The local papers cover national and international
    news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and
    LSU football…

  23. You think that the first day of deer season is a
    national holiday.

  24. You find 100 degrees “a bit warm.”

  25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer,
    still summer, and Christmas.

  26. Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as
    "Goin’ Walmartin" or “off to Wally World.”

  27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70
    degrees) as good gumbo weather.

  28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

  29. We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. . . if our mama
    says we can drive, we can drive.

  30. You understand these jokes and forward them
    to your Louisiana friends and those who just wish they were
    from Louisiana !!!

I just found this thread and had a good chuckle at most of it. However, having grown up in NE Michigan, I have to say that the first day of deer season is practically a holiday . . . in my hometown if November 15th (firearm season opener) fell M-F, the public schools [I]and [/I]college were closed. If the 15th fell on a Sat/Sun, the next Monday had the schools closed for “safety day”.

On the topic of LA, when I was down there checking out some job options, I happened to stop by a quickie mart/gas station/mini-casino/lunch counter and witnessed someone picking up some food for the road. He ordered some etouffe and the gal behind the counter asked if he wanted some bacon crumbled on that order . . . small, medium, or large side order. Sure enough, he wanted a medium order and she grabbed a HANDFUL (easily 1/2 lb precooked), crumbled over the etouffe and passed it across the counter. My arteries began to harden on the spot!

How long have you been in La.? True, we are a very cultural-oriented state, and a lot of [B]this[/B] surprises me still because I haven’t engaged in conversation with any “backwudz” people [B]HERE[/B]. Every state has poor people, who do fall into that category of being very ‘country.’

Not everyone in La. is illiterate and use those phrases that would have proud, English professors cringing.
I can’t really recall ever using Tabasco sauce in any of MY food–cayenne pepper gets it JUSSSSSSST right. couple dumps full lol
And, I only use Ketchup in normal/national dining circumstances. LOL Ex: No ketchup in my grits or etouffe’.

Humorous. My favs that I relate to are 8, 16, and 21.

Bacon on Etouffe’? YUcK!
Where and what city was THAT in? I’m very curious.

Sulphur . . . can’t remember the name of the gas station, etc., but it was just south of I-10 on the way out to the new LNG terminal.

I learned from one crewboat ‘captain’ that hard core low budget porn goes with cornflakes.

I learned on my first trip down that I don’t speak the lingo. I came down right after a hurricane and there was no power, I had no clue where I was, no phone to call someone to help me. I stop in at a gas station that was using a generator for power to ask for direction. First guy I asked was more than happy to help me however, he was standing next to the generator, eating peanut butter crackers, with an accent thicker than the peanut butter trying to tell me how to get where I was going. I felt bad after the 3rd time I said “What?” and had to walk off. I still to this day have no clue as to even one word the man said. He was tryin’ real hard though.

As to the low budget porn and cornflakes… A word of caution… don’t eat cheetos and watch porn or you will go home with an orange d#&c!

Learned??? LOL , That place sucks the brain cells out of my head!!

If “butter” is on the grocery list, a Cajun will come back with a soy bean product.

If you fax a grocery list to a store with “butter” on it, you will get a soy bean product.

If you tell a Cajun that butter is a dairy product, they will look at you in disbelief.

first night in venice walkin back from the bar after fair warning from the hot bartender that five guys were about to hand my ass to me. i stumbled off down the dyke makin my back to the docks, i could hear this rustling all around me i thought it was rat or bugs in the bushes. i can’t see shit and i am piss drunk, a car pulls around the corner about a half mile behind me and as the headlights come up they reveal the truth of the danger i was in. goddamn road absolutley covered in water snakes and gators and i had just walked through 2 miles of em. this mini van pulls up with 2 of the ugliest whores i have ever seen askin me what the hell are you doin walkin out here baby, i jumped right in they gave me a ride home and i could here em bonin my mexican nieghbors all night long. welcome to the dirty south.

If you are in Venice then you should say “Welcome to the end of the world.” !!! And if you think that Venice is dirty you should go to Morgan City!!

If you ask for apple sauce with your pork chops, you will only get funny looks.

Great thread, OP! Needed to be bumped.

If you can eat it you can deep fry it. But 99% isn’t very good, just fried to be fried.

If you are above I-10 you’re collectively a Yankee, even if your state or city didn’t exist during the civil war.

Some people put pics of their family on the tv in the galley, some put pics from a deer cam.

Hunting deer to the people of Louisiana is akin to hunting a Tyrannosaurus by hand in their minds. And don’t bother telling them your state has moose, black bear, Grizzlies, elk, that you hunt, cause you’ll just get blank stares. Haha

They used to say in the 80s and early 90s out here on the west coast that if you live east of Interstate 5 your a “coonass” and they are going to come out here and drive the wages down. It’s ironic that I and many others are/were trying to get a job down south…