The shitter comes last?

Professional Mariner Forum
1

In the grand scheme of things there are some basic human needs that we all have. Eating, shitting, sleeping, showering, ect.

This being the case shouldn’t the shitter or “head” should be pretty high up there on the “stuff you want to work right on your boat” list? I know it ranks up there pretty high on mine.

If you are like me you have probably had to make due or “doo” once or twice with something less than adequate.

The wheelhouse trashcan is a good alternative in a pinch. Coming down on a lock for instance.

Oddly enough though, over the last 16 years or so I have been on more than one garbage can boat where the shitter was almost like an after thought.

One of my earliest “moody shitter” experiences was on an old retrofitted towboat. The crew head on the stern only worked if you got a 5 gallon bucket of river water and forced flushed it. Sometimes that didn’t even work.
Most of us that got frustrated with the “shark” that would not die ended up giving up and just crapping over the stern or in a 5 gallon bucket with some water in the bottom and then tossing it over the side.

Of course the captain’s head, the engineeer’s head, and the cook’s head all flushed fine.

I was on a boat not too long ago that was making at least 10k/day on the BP spill clean up. Not bad for a 1300 hp towboat.

Unbelievably there was still not enough money in the coffers to fix the MSD unit.

I didn’t find out until I had some time to walk around and really get a good look at “my boat” that I had hastly been put in charge of, but the MSD was being bypassed.
Why? Because the MSD didn’t work.

It was easier to bypass it and let the captain sweat out a CG boarding than fix it.

That is one of the reasons I had to leave that company.

Another tug I worked on was more or less a day boat but had “quarters” on it for overnight if need be.

It was filthy and you would lay on the bare mattresses in your work clothes if you needed a nap.

The head was one of those shit burner toilets put in a closet more or less.
The smell that it generated was so bad that anyone that had to use it would crap in an engine room “diaper” or oil absorbant pad and throw it over the side to spare himself and his shipmates the lingering smell of burning turds.

My most recent poopy story is one of a very old tug that had a MSD unit on it for an RV. It was built to handle waste from two people with regular pump offs.

They had converted an old wing tank on this tug to a septic tank and we had 9 men at one point on this boat.

The MSD was located in the forepeak right next to the air intake for the air handlers. It vented into the space very badly and the air handler grabbed that smell up and dumped it right on your nose while you were sleeeping, eating, working, it didn’t matter.

The only way the engineer could keep the stench managable was to keep the “septic” tank and MSD unit pumped off all the time even in restricted waters.

The company put him and us in a position where we had to break the law just to live on this trash can.

Yes, yes I can hear the protest now. “Walk off!” “Call the CG!”, ect, ect.

Not if you just wanna make your money drama free and go home.

What happens if they put your boat in the shipyard to fix the shitter?
In a small boat company that equals you sittin at the house or you elbow deep in shit helpin to fix the problem.
Both of which I have done.

But why fix it now? You guys can deal with it until this winter can’t you?

That is why I think a good port captain should spend at least two weeks a year on each one of the vessels in his fleet. If there are too many vessels for this, then hire some assistant port captains.

I can guarentee you if my “port captain” had to spend 1 hour let alone 90 days in that stench the problem would have been fixed immediatley. No mattter what part of the sailing season we were in and where that boat was at.

It really was a health and safety issue but no one wanted to be the “stinker” and raise the red flag with the office.

How can you expect a crew of 9 men to live like that for an entire sailing season?

I nominate the head to be put on the top of the list of stuff that needs to work on your boat.

Shitter, radar, engines, steering, ect.

I wonder if i could get that added to CFR 164.80? Shitter workin? Check.

OK, turn me loose!

2

Stories like these make me glad I am in a union

3

That and the fact that some companies actually try to meet the law and have adequate living arrangements. If they don’t then there is no reason for qualified people to suffer through this type of degradation.

4

[QUOTE=brjones;45285]Stories like these make me glad I am in a union[/QUOTE]

Never been in a union and never had to worry about a story like that.

5

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and hat. It sucks but that is why i left that company with alot more reasons. I had to upgrade! 5 yrs ago I got a job with a company that cares and thankfully i dont have to worry. Anyway, good question on the CFR!!!

6

“…make your money drama free” seems a bit contradictory, given the nature of your post. I hope writing it was cathartic.

7

Damn,

I spent years aboard pogy boats…some of them built in the early forties…and 24 years flying airliners and never had that problem. In fact, when the head on the airplane didn’t work we doubled up the lines and waited for the blue water boys and wrench benders.

Now I’m not saying I’ve never taken a dump in a bucket, but I knew I was going to have to do it before we took the lines in. It wasn’t too bad on a 45 foot pound netter in the spring of the year in Virginia. Certainly no worse than being in the woods hunting and having “that feeling” rush up on you. I want hot water and cool air. I can hang my big ass over the side any time.

Always keep hip ribbon in your pocket.

Nemo

8

[QUOTE=dougpine;45309]"…make your money drama free" seems a bit contradictory, given the nature of your post. I hope writing it was cathartic.[/QUOTE]

easy with them big words doug. me smart tho. yes, i feel better now. as far as the rest goes when you aint got the next mortgage payment in the bank you will put up with what you have to and shit where you have to until something better comes along. or at least i will.
$850/day. yeah, i’ll shit in a bucket for awhile.

same story today for me. but instead of the head it’s the every frickin grey water drain on this boat. grey water up to your ankles by the time you step out of the shower. sinks don’t drain and guys still try to wash their whiskers and shaving cream down the drain. pipes so rusty if you try to run a drain snake through them the scale will tear your snake to pieces or make the problem worse that it already is if it doesn’t punch a hole in the pipe first.
just keep sending that draino that doesn’t work and that is great for the environment. “Hell, we can get another 5-10 years out of that boat. So what if they are bitchin about the drains. If they don’t like it they can go the house.”

Look guys…I do the best i can with the license i have. Unfortunatley for me more often than not i end up on trash cans. I guess i am Oscar the Grouch.
There is always a catch with the big money jobs. more often than not this is one of them.
It does feel good to bitch and vent because although alot of you fellas have never had the misfortune of workin in the coonass navy alot have. the ones that have can relate. and if you can tell a poo story as good as me then have at it. I’ll be the first one to thank you on here. i’d love to hear it.
and if you can relate then that means i am not the only miserable sonofabitch on the face of the planet.
misery loves company you know.

“find another job”…right?
Find one for me. Cause i have worked for lots of companies as a trip pilot and i damn sure havn’t found one yet that aint the same as the last in one form or another.
And i got better things to do with my time off than spend it all doin stupid people tricks for another boat company that promises the world but is just the same as the last.

After that last budget busting slow down i’m just glad i’m not standin in a bread line.

Yep, find me one of them jobs where the boat is in good shape and the office doesn’t lie to you.
Find me one where i don’t have to eat beans, rice, and deep fried alligator asshole 6 times a week.
Make it one of those elusive companies i keep hearing about that send you what you put on the supply order and actually fix things that break on your boat like main engines and generators before they blow while you are underway. and on and on.

Yes, i know. Your company is nothing like that. They are the best company to work for in the whole merchant navy. you would never work a company like this one, right?
Careful. Never say never. You might be overdue for a Godsmack.

Truth be told I do enjoy a good shit in the great outdoors. that is one reason why i am gettin ready to hang this dog and poney show up and get back in a big truck. oh, yeah, i like to park my rig on an onramp and find a nice nature setting to let nature take its course. mother nature beats a dirty truck stop shitter any day.

but honestly i am disgusted with today’s limited tonnage boat companies in America.

Yeah, i’m a boat whore. Offer me some big bucks and i will come a runnin to ride your trash can. but only until i get a few of them banger paychecks in the bank. then i loose my tolerance for the bullshit.

I have tried the companies with the big brand new boats that everyone is talking about. good luck keeping a permanent spot on one of them. always someone willin to politic or knife you for that spot. might as well paint a frickin target on your back. you can keep that job for yourself.

You know the job i mean, right?

The one that has that nice, big brand new boat that has a great milk run.
You know the run where the boat is gettin paid 15k/day on contract with a big oil company and you standby for weeks at a time waiting to get called to the dock.

Oh, yeah. I love those jobs man. The captain is usually an ego maniac with way too much time on his hands.

You know that captain that rides his deckhands like a monkey on a greyhound dog over stupid shit like the soup spoons not being separated from the tea spoons?

You know the guy that gets upset when he actually has to move his boat because really deep down inside he knows he is a shitty boat handler and moving the boat and especially the tow involves risk.
Why take any unnecessary risk when he only has another 5 years till retirement right?

When it comes to limited tonnage i have worked them all gents.

Yeah, just me and my truck and the whole lower 48 to crap where i please. soundin better all the time.

Damn, i’m glad the ol lady went back to work full time. Now hangin this shit up aint such a dream anymore.

Home every weekend and a couple nights a week to see my wife and kids.

Not having to put up with a bunch of swingin dicks on an over crowded sardine can.

Not havin to share a bunk room with a stinkin ass that was never taught personal hygene as a child.

Not having to eat your supper next to someone you would rather punch in the head than look in the eyes. Well…shipmate wise that is. If your marrage sucks that bad then maybe you should never get off the boat.

Well, it has been fun folks. Thanks Gcaptain for helping me burn up a watch on one of them boats that stands by all the time.

I don’t get on here that much anymore and I expect to be on here less in the future. Hold the applause please.

Don’t know if I’ll let it go but I am damn sure ready for a nice long break. Think things will change out here in the next five years? I don’t

9

Don’t leave us! Let’s just say we’re on a break, ok?

10

A simple solution to most of your problems would be to get off of those uninspected tugs.

I know most of us OSV guys don’t make as much as you apparently do, but My toilet has always worked were ever I’ve been. Had my shower go out one time and took a week till we were able to get back to the dock to fix it. That’s about the worst of it.

11

Waa waa waa, all you whiners. Waa, waa, the shitter doesn’t work.

I continually scratch my head in wonder over the complaints about dirty boats, crap everywhere, slobs, assholes, and slackers.

When you complain about conditions like that there are two people to point the finger of blame at: The captains who relieve each other running those boats.

I’ve certainly worked on piece of crap boats, and as a mate I just had to deal with it. But no boat I’ve ever been captain on has stayed uninhabitable for long. You may get lucky and work for a company which just insists on it. Up here in Seattle, Western Tug and Barge for example has boats that rival mega-yachts in their appearance and cleanliness. But if your company doesn’t care, that just makes it a bit more of a challenge to set a high bar on your boat. It certainly doesn’t absolve anyone of their responsibility to be a good shipmate and to not shit where they live. But it happens all the time, which is an indicator of a lack of leadership by the captains, either intentionally or passively. The last tug I ran was atrociously filthy when we got it. Within a few days we had it relatively sparkling, because we cared and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Set the bar and hold your crew accountable. Pretty straightforward, it seems. If you choose to live and work under conditions an onshore health department would have a fit over, that’s your issue and your captain’s.

12

Well said Mr Pine. Although I actually had my boss tell me that “my standards were to high and maybe I should lower them”. I realized he didn’t have the balls to hold the other captain and his crew accountable for actions. I’ve always had a great reputation with my previous employers but these guys really kicked me in the nuts. That is the least motivating thing I’ve ever had a boss tell me.

13

What I hate is the office does not back up the Marine crew and give the Dive crew full control

14

[QUOTE=Employer;52644]A simple solution to most of your problems would be to get off of those uninspected tugs.

I know most of us OSV guys don’t make as much as you apparently do, but My toilet has always worked were ever I’ve been. Had my shower go out one time and took a week till we were able to get back to the dock to fix it. That’s about the worst of it.[/QUOTE]

Sub chapter M bro. They are no longer “uninspected”. Now they are working on an SIP like you have and the best they have come up with so far is hiding behind the AWO RCP.

You can shellac a turd but in the end all you have is a shiny turd.

If the office doesn’t do major shipyard repairs then I don’t care how much brass you polish, the shitter still ain’t gonna work, the drains still ain’t gonna drain, the a/c is still not going to keep you cool while you are trying to get some sleep on your off watch, and on and on…waaaaaa…hang on a second…i need a tissue.

15

[QUOTE=dougpine;52635]Don’t leave us! Let’s just say we’re on a break, ok?[/QUOTE]

Ok, Doug.

sorry to disappoint but i am bored again today. at least two more weeks until i can get off with a fat checking account to pay the bills until i get back in that big truck.

16

[QUOTE=OICUR12;52870]Ok, Doug.

sorry to disappoint but i am bored again today. …[/QUOTE]

[B]You know my motto… anyway as far as working with a$$holes, they are quite satisfied and feel a sense of accomplishment making you miserable/quitting… until they realize after your gone how much of their job you did.[/B]

Don’t know if I’ll let it go but I am damn sure ready for a nice long break. Think things will change out here in the next five years? I don’t

[B]Well wait till you get back in traffic full time, the people that text/talk and don’t pay attention ??? That has surely changed, nothing could frustrate me more.[/B]

[B]Hope your decision works well for you.[/B]

17

[QUOTE=NAUTICART;52887][B]You know my motto… anyway as far as working with a$$holes, they are quite satisfied and feel a sense of accomplishment making you miserable/quitting… until they realize after your gone how much of their job you did.[/B]

Don’t know if I’ll let it go but I am damn sure ready for a nice long break. Think things will change out here in the next five years? I don’t

[B]Well wait till you get back in traffic full time, the people that text/talk and don’t pay attention ??? That has surely changed, nothing could frustrate me more.[/B]

sorry but i don’t know your motto. Let me guess…“There is always something to do on a work boat.”? Maybe for the deck monkeys. I stay in the a/c and start crap on gcaptain for kicks. and that is my privilege. I earned it. and no i don’t’ feel guilty. i paid my dues. and yes i am a lazy bastard. if i got 4 deck monkeys on my boat you think i am going to get out in that heat and chip and paint?

as far as the BS on the road goes…been there done that. steered into the median and rolled my big rig in 07 to keep from killing everyone that was stacking up in front of me in a 95 vehicle pile up on the Penn Turnpike. Almost killed me but i didn’t hit anyone and no one hit me. If i would have gotten my load off that week I would have grossed $600 before taxes. That was when things were really in the shitter for big trucks. before the bottom fell out in the fall of '06 I was grossing $2500/wk and was home a couple nights a week and every weekend. Yes i was burning the candle at both ends to make that cash but it was just me and my rig. Nice and clean. No other swingin dicks to put up with. As long as i got my load there on time and picked up my back haul on time I was my own boss.
I am still going to trip now and then to get my 180 days in every 5 years but it is going to take at least $850/day to get me out of that big rig again.

Yes, no shortage of idiots on the road. That is why i slept during the day and drove at night. less traffic. less witnesses for a drunk or texter that you run into the ditch with your trailer.

If you know what you are doing and how to do it and providing the trucking industry is not in the shitter, you can make a decent living and be home a lot more than you can working out here.

Just like towboats things got bad and now they are coming back. if things get bad again I will trip.

Jack of all trades and Master of a few.

[B]Hope your decision works well for you.[/B][/QUOTE]

anyway thanks for the well wishes…I think

18

[QUOTE=OICUR12;52902]
sorry but i don’t know your motto. Let me guess…“There is always something to do on a work boat.”? Maybe for the deck monkeys. I stay in the a/c and start crap on gcaptain for kicks. and that is my privilege. I earned it. and no i don’t’ feel guilty. i paid my dues. and yes i am a lazy bastard. if i got 4 deck monkeys on my boat you think i am going to get out in that heat and chip and paint?
[/QUOTE]

I believe he just spoke for a lot of people. lol