Who says sailors are slobs [JOKE]

Scuttlebutt
1

From the dock the woman watched as the salty old tugboat captain skillfully docked his boat. She was impressed
that such an old man would still be doing such a tough job. She decided to wait until the captain disembarked.
As he did, she asked him," Captain, what is your secret to leading such a long and productive life?" “Well,” he
said. "I would have to say it’s because I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky every
week, eat a lot of fatty foods and I never exercise.”

“Wow, that’s amazing," the woman said. “Exactly how old are you?” He answered, “Thirty-one”.

2

Who says that we are cheap either?

A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, “Give me twenty shots of your
best scotch, quick!” The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender
is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast. "The sailor replies, “Well, you’d
drink that fast too, if you had what I have.” The bartender says, “Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?”
“Fifty cents!”

3

A young lad walks down to the pier, spying an old salt. The old salt has an eyepatch, a wooden leg and a hook for a hand. The youngster approaches the old salt…

"Uhh, hello old salt, I’m thinking of becoming a sailor, will you talk with me?

“Why Shore Laddy, sit right down 'ere, we’ll have a gam”.

( young kid)
Well, I see that you have a wooden leg, what happened?

(Old salt)
Whalen’ we was, off the tortugas, a shark came up through the bottom of the boat, bit off me leg, that’s why I got this 'ere wooden stump!

(Young kid)
“Oh, that’s terrible, what happened to your hand?”

(Old Salt)
Whalen’ again we was, off the Tortugas, Harpooned me a whale, got the rope wrapped around me wrist, ripped me hand right off, that’s why I got this 'ere hook.

(Young kid)
Wow, maybe I should be an accountant, or a clerk or something… What happened to your eye?

(Old salt)
Whalen’ again we was off the Tortugas, looked up and a seagull shit in me eye!.

(Young kid)
Wow, that seagull shit must be pretty nasty.

(Old salt)
Naw, first day with me new Hook…