The Captain, Chief Engineer An The Redheaded Mermaid [Joke]

Once every two weeks the m/v titillation passed by the Greek island of Themyscira, known for having the best looking whores in the world and, as the ship sails around the leeward side a boat filled with young girls in tight thongs pulls alongside. The ladder was dropped and the sailors escorted the girls up when the captain called down from his office demanding that, as captain, he gets the first pick.

The captain, of course, picks the prettiest girl but, when he asked her how much, he was shocked to find she cost $10,000. “No worries” he thought. There was $80k in the safe and, considering her beauty, he gladly opened his safe and pulled out one neat stack of bills. Then he called in the Chief Engineer and said, “Sorry chief, I took the prettiest, but the others ain’t bad”

“No worries Capt, I’m waiting for the big titted mermaid with red hair, plus the soots been building up in the port engine and I need to go blow it out”

“Suit yourself” said the captain, “just be sure to give 1 blow of the whistle to warn the crew your blowing [B][I]my[/I][/B] stacks”

2 weeks go by and and another boatload of girls show up, these ones twice as pretty as the first. The captain takes his pick and finds out that she will cost $20k. Not being able to resist the temptation he opens the safe and pulls out two stacks of bills then calls the chief to offer him second pick"

The chief arrives and again says “No thanks Capt, I’m waiting for that big titted mermaid with red hair, plus the soots really been building up in the both the port and stbd engines and I need to go blow them out”

“Suit yourself” said the captain, “just be sure to tell [B][I]my[/I][/B] bridge watch to give 2 blows of the whistle to warn the crew your blowing both [B][I]my[/I][/B] stacks”

On the next trip the girls, once again, arrived in the office but this time they look downright dirty & old. The captain asks how much and is shocked to find out they cost $50,000 each. “why so much?” asks the captain and he’s told they are mermaids and can do things in bed that men never dreamed of. The captain considers his options and is about to kick them out when a red headed mermaid with huge tits, walks in. The captain is floored and, considering this girl is better looking than any Hollywood actress, he eagerly opens his safe with a huge smile and reaches for the five remaining stacks of cash when… the ship whistle starts sounding the danger signal.

The captain runs up to the bridge and breathlessly looks around to find the mate leisurely drinking coffee.

With his face flushed red he shouts “I heard 5 whistles, that’s the danger signal, who ordered it?”

“The C/ E gave the order”

“What did he tell you? Are we in danger?”

He said to tell you… 'I’m blowing 5 stacks… Your safe"

what a stoopid joke that is!


[QUOTE=c.captain;111983]what a stoopid joke that is!


Thank you, I wrote it myself :slight_smile:

[QUOTE=c.captain;111983]what a stoopid joke that is!


Here’s one you may like better:

Why did the sailor get a toilet for his birthday? Because he asked his wife for head

I guess you came up with that one yourself as well eh?

me? I steal all my jokes fair and square!

The only time I have ever dropped money like that on a girl was in divorce court