Maritime Safety Ideas

On a serious note one nonsensical safety policy I saw some years ago was when working on a vessel in Congo, everyone had to wear a lifejacket every time we were going up and down the gangway when the vessel was tied up alongside in port.

That policy was truly mad. Never had to do that anywhere else.

It is amazing what ChatGPT and Bard can come up with.

I’ve heard of people using ChatGPT to help create risk assessments etc.

Give it as many details as possible and it will come up with a pretty good risk assessment for a job.

When working aloft, it is a safety standard to be secured in a safety harness. However, even the best of harnesses can fail. Ergo, I present Wendy’s Wings, a convenient back up to your safety equipment.

The Wings are patterned after Ruffed Grouse wings, being short and stubby but exceptionally powerful when attached to your cell phone and drawing energy from its teeny tiny battery. One mighty burst of juice will be enough to power your Wings to a safe landing on deck.

However, if you should miss the deck and land in the drink, the Wings offer the distinct advantage of easy flotation assistance, as they come supplied with a generous quantity of genuine Grouse Wing Oil, which will allow you to spread your Wings and float effortlessly until you are picked up.

The Wings fold easily into the adjustable one-size-really-does-fit-all backpack, which is compact enough to fit easily beneath your safety harness.

Wendy’s Wings may be obtained by sending your left arm or right ear or firstborn to 47.6115742 N, 122.4497660 W. This is in the middle of Puget Sound, where I will be waiting in a rowboat for your drone drop. You will receive your Wings shortly tbereafter.

1 Like

I had the same ridiculous experience with Weststar in SF. I had to wear a life jacket in the wheelhouse during hiring eval while deckhands did the line handling without them.

It is the same when boarding Crewboats in many places (Oilco requirement)
What do you say to this gangway rigging?:


PS> I have actually seen this.

2 Likes

Bubble wrap coveralls will be provided to all crew members and must be worn at all times when working on or around the deck.

Policy

  • All crew members must wear bubble wrap coveralls when working on or around the deck.
  • Bubble wrap coveralls must be a minimum of 12 inches thick.
  • Bubble wrap coveralls must be kept clean and free of tears.
  • Crew members who fail to wear bubble wrap coveralls will be subject to disciplinary action.

Reasoning

Falls are a leading cause of injury on ships. Bubble wrap coveralls provide a layer of protection that can help to reduce the severity of injuries in the event of a fall.

Implementation

Bubble wrap coveralls will be provided to all crew members by the ship’s safety officer. Crew members are responsible for ensuring that their bubble wrap coveralls are clean and free of tears.

Monitoring

The ship’s safety officer will conduct regular inspections to ensure that crew members are wearing bubble wrap coveralls.

The companies don’t give a goose poop about safety. They only care about $$$$$.

They just go through the motions with a lot of inexpensive “safety theater” because they are required to.

The companies generally are not compelled to address actual safety issues (adequate crew size, rest hours, etc,), as long as they put on a show with work vests, hard hats, safety goggles, and steel toe boots all the time, especially when not actually useful. Oh, a company that does all this is “so committed to “safety.”

This stuff is cheap , only burdens the crew, (and is often openly ignored), but shifts the blame to the crew if anything happens.

The feckless USCG issues COIs to coastwise tugs on long voyages that only require 4 crewman because that’s what the companies and the AWO lobbied for, promised to hire retired admirals and marine inspectors for, and made campaign contributions for.

Talk to me about the “safety theater” items after you fully crew up and properly equip your boat, USCG requirements are the bare minimum, not how a vessel should be operated.

2 Likes

The United States Merchant Marine is responsible for transporting goods and people around the world. In order to ensure the safety of all those on board, it is proposed that a new safety policy be implemented. This policy would require every US flag merchant marine ship to hang a portrait of Oprah Winfrey in their mess room.

There are several reasons why this policy would be beneficial. First, Oprah Winfrey is a powerful and inspirational figure. Her presence in the mess room would remind crew members of their own strength and resilience. Second, Oprah Winfrey is a symbol of hope and possibility. Her portrait would give crew members a sense of optimism, even in the face of danger. Third, Oprah Winfrey is a role model for women and girls. Her presence in the mess room would send a message that women can be strong, successful, and respected leaders.

Of course, some people may argue that this policy is unnecessary or even ridiculous. However, there is no harm in trying something new. If this policy does nothing else, it will certainly make the mess room a more interesting place.

Some here may remember the Transocean Pyramide?

Oh shit.

My grandma could rig a better gangway, and she’s been dead for 37 years.

Yes she probably could.
This gangaw goes between two OSVs in layup at Loyang, S’pore.

Note: Safety net is in place (under the gangway) and workvest are provided (at the middle of the gangway) Visitors are provided Hardhats (once they get to the bridge)

PS> Padding on the cargo rail is over and above minimum requirements. Installed after the Captain had been on shore leave. (He woke up with a headache in the morning)

As a pilot with an average five hour trip I used to hear a lot about the ship’s visit on the outbound leg. One captain told me that his inflatable life rafts were due for inspection but he couldn’t get scheduled for a certifiable inspection. Rather than a really expensive delay the company decided to buy new rafts and install them to be in compliance. The old ones were put in storage to be certified later. The new rafts were certified and met the requirements as to size, location and number. The Coast Guard held their safety inspection and found the expired rafts in a storage locker below decks. They made the ship get them certified before they left port.

Another time I boarded a ship at the sea buoy. The captain told me that he would prefer not to use sea speed settings. It was summertime and the fan that ventilated the stack was broken. The problem was that sea speed heated the stack up just enough that the paint on the outside blistered and they would have to repaint. Sea speed was available for emergencies though. I told him not to worry. The 15 knot normal full ahead was more than enough for me.

Upon entering the jetties I was called by a harbor tug who told me he was to be our escort tug for the trip. I hadn’t requested an escort. The problem mentioned by the captain was so minor that I had put it out of mind. I called VTS to find out what was going on and was told that the Captain of the Port required an escort tug, at substantial cost, because of the engine “deficiency”. I was able to talk them out of it.

2 Likes

I don’t know how long ago this was, but this is standard practice now.

New ones show up, old ones go on the dock. Ship moves on.

Yes it is standard practice to have rental life rafts from a company like Viking.

You two must have missed the part where I described the old rafts being stored in a locker belowdecks and the ship being required to have those rafts in the storage locker certified. That is not “standard practice”.

See note to Ladder. Apply reading skills.

Houston CG?

Despite what you may think, even non Houston Pilots have the ability to read.

Common knowledge to not have anything expired on the ship during an inspection. Even liferafts.

How about when they are red tagged and working units are in place?

I’m not saying it’s logical. I’m just saying we have all experienced a vetter finding a box of expired hospital meds locked up somewhere and written it up as an observation.

Also Sector Houston are well known dicks.