Is it worth it?

I have been reading throughout the forums and have noticed that there is quite a lot of unemployment and divorce with “deckies”. Is it too much to ask for to find a good job as a mate out of a maritime academy, make a living, and have a family? So many people are recommending to go into the engineering field. So much, that I am starting to be hesitant into going to mass maritime and major in marine trans. I am willing to have a challenging career, but not an overwhelming one that guarantees a divorce and possibly unemployment. So, is it worth going mass maritime, and majoring in mArine trans, or, switch to possibly engineering.

The only way to prevent divorce is to stay single…Problem solved…

Our industry is not the only one that has a higher than average divorce rate…Any job where you are far from home for long periods of time will raise the odds…You have to find a strong spouse who can be okay alone and still be okay to allow you into the world she has had to create, when you are there…Thats a hard thing to do…it’s hard to find a person that is willing to put up with that…I don’t see a difference between deck and engineers though, the hitches are still going to be about the same…

As far as employment goes there seems to be more demand on the engineering side, so in that respect you may have a point…

i not so sure there are a lot of guarantees in life…that being said…
i’ve not been in this industry long…but
my maintenance drinking is down…but my binge drinking is up…
i choose to see this as a good thing…
T

[QUOTE=Tomj93;51883]Is it too much to ask for to find a good job as a mate out of a maritime academy, make a living, and have a family?[/QUOTE]

Yes its too much to ask. I’m kidding, its do-able. I work with a ton of guys who have families. They make it work somehow. Some of them are even happily married. Not for me though, I’m way too smart to get tied down with a wife and kids at this age. If your main goal is a great family life, and you have a problem with spending over half the year away from home, this is definitely not the industry for you.

I am a 2nd generation Marine Engineer and I have a family and am still married. Times are different today than when my father was sailing. The days of the drunken sailor going ashore and whoring around are not like it was. I work pretty much coast wise now and am able to be in contact with my family almost daily. For me its worth it. I was able to move up fast on my license and am making good money and have a supportive wife at home who knows how to be a single mother. Hell if had a shore side job right now, I would probably be divorced. As far as jobs go, I do know that it may be harder for deck guys to get work but my company is always hiring mates. I would not recommend going into engineering unless that is what you like to do. There may be more opportunities, but more of what you don’t like to do isn’t much fun.

Divorce and Unemployment happen no matter where you are so it’s not this industry. I have been working offshore for over 20 years and have Salt Water in my vein’s, I do not wish to work on land. I am an AB Unlimited with STCW, I have been unemployed for over 18 month’s. I even drove from Ft Myers Florida to La and interviewed and nothing as of yet. But i will continue to search because this is who i am and this is what i do and I believe in me.

                                                                              [INDENT]                     i not so sure there are a lot of guarantees in life......that being said...

i’ve not been in this industry long…but
my maintenance drinking is down…but my binge drinking is up…
i choose to see this as a good thing…

AWESOME ,GUY!!!

[/INDENT]

Of course you can have a Happy Marriage and work on the water, I’ve had 2 of them. :slight_smile:

resort back to rule 11

IMHO, your chances at having a career, successful marriage, and being fulfilled at both hinge upon You, your spouse, and your expectations.

One of the most recurring themes I have heard out on the water for 35 years is: “I give my whole paycheck to the bitch and she’s bleeding me dry.” If that is what you are looking forward to, them regardless of where, how and when you work, it will happen.

What I perceive as a serious issue is that most guys and gals who get ‘into’ this industry are alone from their spouses for (at least) 50% of their marriage from the start. If you can rationally discuss this PRIOR to getting into a marriage, then you may have a chance at having a successful time. But if you start guessing, and figuring out how you will balance these things in a relationship it won’t work.

I can honestly say that after having been married for 30+ years (and only been home for 15 years of it) it IS a huge issue and understanding you MUST work out, you will be one of the statistics.

You assume this seems to be a ‘deckie’ issue. Not true. It is not the position, but the fact that people spend SO much time away from each other.

Take a look at your woman. Is she a very needy woman in need of emotional support all the time? If you answered yes then she probably would not be able to handle this. In turn youy would not be able to deal with her from here. Either find a different one or a different career.

My sailing career started after my 2nd marriage began. We like to say there will never be another divorce, one of us is dying, with or without assistance :slight_smile:

It works for us. She has in essence been a single mother (I worked over quite a bit when I first started, we needed the money). We put a lot of effort into my career. Now I’m working equal time and the effort is being put into her career.

Throughout it all there has been a strength and independence by both of us. We’re good by ourselves, but great when you put us together.

this is definitely not the industry for you.

Excuse me Jon, but I am just wondering you think that this career is not for me. I have not looked on this thread for awhile, but I have done my research and I have found a satisfying amount ashore jobs to quench my fears.

“Excuse me Jon, but I am just wondering you think that this career is not for me. I have not looked on this thread for awhile, but I have done my research and I have found a satisfying amount ashore jobs to quench my fears.”

Unfortunately ashore jobs can’t leave out words when type. They frown on poor grammars in office.

Sorry, couldn’t help myself, I’m just playin’

Err…I am sorry but I do not understand what you said.

He said it’s hard to understand what you said.

“Excuse me [COLOR=black]Jon[not Jon, but join][/COLOR], but I am just wondering [why] you think that this career is not for me. I have not looked on [at] this thread for awhile, but I have done my research and I have found a satisfying amount [of] ashore jobs to quench my fears.”

It seems you question why join has reached the same conclusion you have.

Oh, well thank you. Forgive me for the grammer I kinda posted that when I was half asleep haha but anyway thank you for the tips.

Tomj93-

I see from your profile that you’re a high school senior.
Please don’t let any nit-picking chat room posts decide what career path to follow.

I would advise any young person to take up the challenges of this industry, but I’m prejudiced towards it.
Most of us enjoy the job, feel we make a better living than our peers and understand that you can advance to the highest levels you’re willing to work for.

Age, sex, race WILL NOT hold you back.

Keep reading the forums and learning about the choices you have.
Mass Maritime might well be a great choice for you.

Tom. Do what you love. Love what you do. At your age, it might take a while to figure out what you love to do. Give our world a shot. My very first day at sea was my 21st birthday. I’ll be 52 next month and have no regrets. Good luck brother.