[B]Ok, here we go:[/B]
[B](from http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Lawyer.htm)[/B]
[B]Questions About Lawyers[/B]
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
[I]A: Only three. The rest are true stories.[/I]
Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
[I]A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.[/I]
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
[I]A: Skeet.[/I]
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
[I]A: Senator.[/I]
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
[I]A: You cry when you cut up an onion.[/I]
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
[I]A: Your honor.[/I]
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
[I]A: His partners.[/I]
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
[I]A: His lips are moving.[/I]
Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
[I]A: Not enough cement.[/I]
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
[I]A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.[/I]
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
[I]A: Chelsea Clinton[/I]
Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
[I]A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the [/I]Titanic.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
[I]A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.[/I]
Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
[I]A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.[/I]
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech>
[I]A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.[/I]
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
[I]A: Just say, “Fees!”[/I]
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
[I]A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder compan[/I]