I may be going to jail today

Scuttlebutt
1

So I get a call (message) from a guy with a heavy Indian accent last night stating that he was Officer Kevin Miller from the Criminal Investigative Department of the IRS. Told me to call him back because I committed Tax fraud and I needed to rectify this right away before they submitted my case to the Federal Tax court in Washington DC.

I call them back this morning, (571)526-0032, and spoke to an Officer Keith Andersen, heavy Indian accent, Badge # 19897. He explained I committed Tax fraud from 2003 – 2012 and I needed to rectify the problem Immediately.

Since he was reading from a scrip I politely interrupted and told him IRS has not sent any correspondences or follow up notifications as required by Law.

He got a little upset and told me that they did send notices to my address. He then went on to say an Officer came by my home twice. Once on June 10, 2014 and again on August 25, 2014. The Officer supposedly left a yellow tag stating he’d been by and to contact their office right away.

The Officer, Keith Anderson, got really upset when I calmly interrupted his scrip again and stated that no one left a yellow tag at my door. He then went on to say I would be going to jail and that the Corona Sheriff Department would be coming by my home.

When I calmly commented that I didn’t t know the “[U][/U][I][/I][B]City[/B]” of Corona had a Sheriff Department he started yelling at me and stated that the authorizes would be at my home within 30-45 minutes

I told him that wouldn’t work for me because I wasn’t at home to be arrested. I said I was at work and he should send the Corona Sheriff Department to my job instead. He then yelled at me, off script again, that is exactly what he intended to do.

I calmly said “OK….I’ll wait right here”.

I then asked what time would they (Corona Sheriff Department) arrive and if I should wait outside or wait until they rang the doorbell. When he started to answer I interrupted and commented that this arrest was going to make me a big celebrity at my job. Especially an arrest from the Corona Sheriff Department.

He was finally silent

I asked if they are going to use zip ties or real handcuffs because handcuffs would be cool. I told him that for dramatic effect I’d yell “[B]Don’t tase me Bro[/B]!” during the arrest. I also asked if they were going to tase me because being tased would be cool too……pepper spray wouldn’t.

That’s when he hung up. How rude.

I tried calling back to find out how much I supposedly owe but no one picked up. That was a disappointment.

That happened this morning so nothing yet. Maybe they got lost. Maybe I should call them and offer directions?

So if you see any of these guys from the Corona Sheriff Department…

…they are probably looking for me. :stuck_out_tongue:

P.S. (Edit)

Does anyone know if this upcoming arrest will effect my current credentials?

2

You should just ask them to send you a bill via accountable mail and not antagonize them, that or give them the address of your attorney… (any at hand from the yellow pages would of worked).
or is this all a joke? by the looks of their uniform i’d stay aboard!

3

[QUOTE=jimrr;151897]You should just ask them to send you a bill via accountable mail and not antagonize them, that or give them the address of your attorney… (any at hand from the yellow pages would of worked).
or is this all a joke? by the looks of their uniform i’d stay aboard![/QUOTE]

It’s the latest phone scam. Never give money to the IRS based on a phone call.

The scammers are getting pretty aggressive now, too, some have actually called 911 on people who refuse to comply and told the cops that the person was armed and barricaded…the practice is called “swatting” someone. Really sick stuff these people are up to.

4

I just called that number and a guy named “Patel” answered. It’s a 7-11!

5

[QUOTE=Heat Miser;151901]I just called that number and a guy named “Patel” answered. It’s a 7-11![/QUOTE]

Hey, that’s insensitive stereotyping!

How can you be sure it wasn’t a motel?

6

[QUOTE=Johnny Canal;151905]Hey, that’s insensitive stereotyping!

How can you be sure it wasn’t a motel?[/QUOTE]

Or an American Express call center?

7

Had one a month or so ago. Have the voicemail too.

Meant to call back when I was at the bar with a good buzz on and some wiseguy buddies handy to call too. Never did.

I imagine that guy more like the Iraqi information minister who said there were no US troops in the country during the second invasion.

8

I called via Skype. Strange, they didn’t answer at 1:40 am US time … I was hoping for a refund, or at least a lift up the road.

9

http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-571-526-0032

10

I don’t know if you should dismiss this so out of hand…everyone is always SO skeptical when they get these solicitations but how do you know for sure they are not legitimate? I used to be a naysayer but look at all those millions I got from my displaced Nigerian prince friend which set me up real nicely! Gave me enough to buy all those credit card accounts from my Russian hacker buds what I now use to fund my exceedingly lavish lifestyle. Have I yet posted to pic of the boat I bought the otherday to replace ORCA?

I believe that Officer Keith Anderson is a good cop and he’ll fix all of this for you if you just give him all your personal information including SSN and all you banking information, They need to have tools to repair your life…You’ve got to trust him! Don’t make him turn over your case to Detective Rocky Graziano who’ll no doubt come to your front door and knock you out in just one punch!

11

Are we sure this isn’t the Pharaoh? Maybe he finally found steady work…

12

Haha I miss the Pharaoh. Hope he enjoys his new job.

13

Who’s the Pharaoh? Maybe Charlie Brown is trying a new racket if traffic is a little slower in the Suez…

14

He was some former Egyptian Naval captain from before the recent revolution. He seemed to think he was descended from Ra and got very frustrated when we wouldn’t help him get a job as an American Captain. Hilarity Ensued. You can probably find it by searching, don’t know if it was deleted.

15

[QUOTE=LI_Domer;151962]He was some former Egyptian Naval captain from before the recent revolution. He seemed to think he was descended from Ra and got very frustrated when we wouldn’t help him get a job as an American Captain. Hilarity Ensued. You can probably find it by searching, don’t know if it was deleted.[/QUOTE]

so I felt the need to a laugh and did a search to find his famous thread. The man’s username was “matadoro” but search that and “pharaoh” did not locate that missing thread although the search results for “pharaoh” say there are 8 results but only shows 7.

I think I smell a conspiracy here!

16

That thread got decapitated (your words) around 08/29/2014. His wife was post #20 and he was post #21 on this thread:

August 27th, 2014, 03:59 PM #21

Default Re: U.S. vs. foreign merchant mariner documents

[COLOR="#FF0000"]]I’M A RETIRED NAVAL CAPTAIN (EGYPTIAN NAVY) HAPPENED TO GET A LOT OF COURSES FROM THE U.S NAVY AT YOUNGER AGE, ALSO I WAS A C.O OF

DESTROYER (US MADE ADAMS CLASS ) I WAS DATING A PRETTY GIRL SINCE I WAS COMMANDER IN THE EGYPTIAN NAVY AND SHE WAS U.S AIR FORCE

E6 ANY WAY I EARLY RETIRED AND MARRIED MY SWEET GIRL I MOVED TO USA I STARTED A SMALL BUSINESS IT COASTED ME AN ARM AND LEG (3OOK)

DUE TO ECONOMY AND WORK ETHICS I SHUT IT DOWN AND NOW I.HOLD UNLIMITED MASTER ENDORSEMENT. FROM THE EGYPTIAN MARITIME

AUTHORITIES( WHITE LIST MEMBER) I'M A U.S PERMANENT RESIDENT FOR 3 YRS , SO I WANTED TO GO BCK AND WORK IN THE SEA WHERE I'M BEST AT

SO I WAS SHOCKED THAT I CANNOT WORK WITH MY ENDORSEMENT IN USA !! USCG CFR 46 WHICH NOT FAIR FOR U.S RESIDENT SO I WENT BACK TO

SCHOOL TO GET THE ONLY LICENSE I,M ALLOWED TO OBTAIN ACCORDING TO THE USCG REG, NOW I'M JOBLESS COZ CANNOT FIND WORK WITH ALL MY

BACKGROUND HISTORY OF 22YRS OF SEA SERVICE .

BEFORE I START SEEING PREJUDICE COMMENTS ABOUT FOREIGN MARINERS TAKING US CITIZEN JOBS ETC......... JUST PUT YOUR SELF IN MY SHOE AND THINK ABOUT IT THAT I HAD TO MOVE TO U.S FOR THE REASON OF MY WIFE SHE IS ACTIVE DUTY AIR FORCE I DON'T WANT HER TO GIVE AWAY HER CAREER JUST SO I CAN MOVE BACK AND GET DECENT JOB ??? THE QUESTION HERE CAN ANY OF YOU HONEST GUYS HELP WITH WORK ADVICE AND GET ME GOING TO GET JOB .!!!! AND ONE MORE THING THIS LAW OF MERCHANT MARINERS CANNOT GET ENDORSEMENTS FROM USA WELL IT CAME OUT 1920-1930's I DON'T THINK AT THE TIME THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED US PERMANENT RESIDENT AS EVERY ONE WAS GETTING AN EASY CITIZENSHIP I'M GETTING 45 YRS OLD NOW AND I CANNOT WORK , OR DECKHANDS JOBS OR WIPER ETC.. I TRIED THE YACHT SERVICE BUT 3 MONTH NOW NO LUCK PLZ ADVICE !!!!!!!!!!
17

[QUOTE=c.captain;151972]so I felt the need to a laugh and did a search to find his famous thread. The man’s username was “matadoro” but search that and “pharaoh” did not locate that missing thread although the search results for “pharaoh” say there are 8 results but only shows 7.

I think I smell a conspiracy here![/QUOTE]

That thread got “decapitated” (your words) around 08/29/2014. His wife was post #20 and he was post #21 on this thread:

August 27th, 2014, 03:59 PM #21

Default Re: U.S. vs. foreign merchant mariner documents

[COLOR="#FF0000"]]I’M A RETIRED NAVAL CAPTAIN (EGYPTIAN NAVY) HAPPENED TO GET A LOT OF COURSES FROM THE U.S NAVY AT YOUNGER AGE, ALSO I WAS A C.O OF

DESTROYER (US MADE ADAMS CLASS ) I WAS DATING A PRETTY GIRL SINCE I WAS COMMANDER IN THE EGYPTIAN NAVY AND SHE WAS U.S AIR FORCE

E6 ANY WAY I EARLY RETIRED AND MARRIED MY SWEET GIRL I MOVED TO USA I STARTED A SMALL BUSINESS IT COASTED ME AN ARM AND LEG (3OOK)

DUE TO ECONOMY AND WORK ETHICS I SHUT IT DOWN AND NOW I.HOLD UNLIMITED MASTER ENDORSEMENT. FROM THE EGYPTIAN MARITIME

AUTHORITIES( WHITE LIST MEMBER) I’M A U.S PERMANENT RESIDENT FOR 3 YRS , SO I WANTED TO GO BCK AND WORK IN THE SEA WHERE I’M BEST AT

SO I WAS SHOCKED THAT I CANNOT WORK WITH MY ENDORSEMENT IN USA !! USCG CFR 46 WHICH NOT FAIR FOR U.S RESIDENT SO I WENT BACK TO

SCHOOL TO GET THE ONLY LICENSE I,M ALLOWED TO OBTAIN ACCORDING TO THE USCG REG, NOW I’M JOBLESS COZ CANNOT FIND WORK WITH ALL MY

BACKGROUND HISTORY OF 22YRS OF SEA SERVICE .

BEFORE I START SEEING PREJUDICE COMMENTS ABOUT FOREIGN MARINERS TAKING US CITIZEN JOBS ETC… JUST PUT YOUR SELF IN MY SHOE AND THINK ABOUT IT THAT I HAD TO MOVE TO U.S FOR THE REASON OF MY WIFE SHE IS ACTIVE DUTY AIR FORCE I DON’T WANT HER TO GIVE AWAY HER CAREER JUST SO I CAN MOVE BACK AND GET DECENT JOB ??? THE QUESTION HERE CAN ANY OF YOU HONEST GUYS HELP WITH WORK ADVICE AND GET ME GOING TO GET JOB .!!! AND ONE MORE THING THIS LAW OF MERCHANT MARINERS CANNOT GET ENDORSEMENTS FROM USA WELL IT CAME OUT 1920-1930’s I DON’T THINK AT THE TIME THERE WAS SOMETHING CALLED US PERMANENT RESIDENT AS EVERY ONE WAS GETTING AN EASY CITIZENSHIP I’M GETTING 45 YRS OLD NOW AND I CANNOT WORK , OR DECKHANDS JOBS OR WIPER ETC… I TRIED THE YACHT SERVICE BUT 3 MONTH NOW NO LUCK PLZ ADVICE !!!

18

[QUOTE=smoker;151978]That thread got “decapitated” (your words) around 08/29/2014. His wife was post #20 and he was post #21 on this thread:[/QUOTE]

NYET! There was another one started by matadoro (aka “the pharoah”)…that is the famous missing 16minute thread…where the FUCK is it!

THIS STINKS LIKE SOMETHING VERY FISHY TO MY PROMINENT ROMAN PROBOSCIS!

19

[QUOTE=c.captain;151980]NYET! There was another one started by matadoro (aka “the pharoah”)…that is the famous missing 16minute thread…where the FUCK is it!

THIS STINKS LIKE SOMETHING VERY FISHY TO MY PROMINENT ROMAN PROBOSCIS![/QUOTE]

That was the one which got deleted by the admins. He had posted on the above linked thread (which I copied & pasted) and then started another thread (that got deleted).

20

[QUOTE=smoker;151983]That was the one which got deleted by the admins. He had posted on the above linked thread (which I copied & pasted) and then started another thread (that got deleted).[/QUOTE]

A TOTAL and UTTER CONSPIRACY! I DEMAND THAT THREAD BE RESTORED! HISTORY MUST BE PRESERVED!