Harry Lundeberg School of Seamanship - Writing Letter to Admissions

Hello there, I’m applying to the apprenticeship program at Piney Point. They want me to write a 400 letter essay explaining why I want to be a mariner. What I wrote to them basically was - I like the pay and benefits, I like the opportunity for advancement and working my way through the ranks, that I want to be a QMED and from there become a junior engineer but that I’m open to the able seamen route as well, that I’ve researched the maritime industry and spoken with current/former sailors, that I have the support of my family, that I want steady work in a growing industry with a bright future, that I like the hours - specifically being able to get all my work done in large chunks then having a few weeks off to enjoy life, that I like the sea, like being on ships and am not afraid of the ocean, and finally, that I promise to complete the program and perform every task to the best of my ability, no matter how large or small. Am I missing anything that would help convince them they should enroll me? Thanks in advance.