I like to sit in the old man’s bridge chair. Why? Because it’s comfortable and he’s always got a one liner on hand to kick me out. Here are a few gems!
…make like horse sh!t and hit the trail.
…make like a drummer and beat it.
…make like Diarrhea and run
…make a log entry 07:00 LT ass aweigh.
…make like panty hose and run.
…make like the baker and haul those buns
…make like the Red Sea and split.
…make like the wind and blow.
…make like an engineer’s nuts and Bolt.
…make like an anus and get the sh*t out of here.
…make like a whale and blow.
…make like a bowel and move.
…make like the janitor and clean the head out.
…make like it’s union break time and disappear
…make like your catholic and pull out.
…make like the steward does my omelet and scram
…make like an abortion, head out and early.
…make like the cook’s tacos, straight down and out the back
…make like a KP cadet in the bilge.
…godspeed and get fu$%'d
…go inspect Davy Jone’s locker.
…go suck the bilge.
…go log departure for zero fu$# thrity
…lets pretend you just had sex with my daughter and I’m holding a shotgun.
…let’s pretend I’m Jim Jones offering you some Kool Aid
…let’s pretend your sitting on a bitt and the mooring line’s about to snap
…lets pretend your ass is tied to the anchor and I just released the brake.
…lets pretend that Jenny McCarthy’s naked in your cabin
…lets pretend your flotsam on an outgoing tide
…let’s pretend your my wife and I have my Di#@ out
…let’s pretend the hooker just said you have 30 seconds to get off
…let’s pretend I spiked your coffee with laxative
…let’s pretend your francesco schettino and we just hit a rock
…Fair Winds and get the f$ck outa my chair
…the last thing I want to do is kick you off the bridge but it IS on my list.
…aint it time to make the donuts?