Florida Man Activity On The Rise Nationwide

That’s why we call this place FloryDuh.

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That’s quite the news source you are reading there:

“Babysitter transported to hospital after inserting a baby in her vagina”
“FBI seizes over 3,000 penises during raid at morgue employees home”
“Morgue employee cremated by mistake while taking a nap”
“Couple hospitalized after man get’s his head stuck in wife’s vagina”

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Ha. Is worldnewsdailyreport.com the modern day Weekly World News? Where are the Alien molestation stories?

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I believe those will be returning to their fall rotation after the summer reports of a shark-armageddon frenzy of great whites snatching sleeping babies from beachfront homes.

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ah yes. Winter rules…

Weekly World News is still around and on-line. Their high journalistic standards and investigative excellence appear to remained about the same. I miss reading their headlines in the checkout line at the supermarket.

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It looks like they were on the committee that selected Elaine Chao as an " American Maritime Hero".

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Those two “news” sites are pretty funny but I prefer the official Florida Man website where the headlines are pulled from actual news media sites within Florida. After reading that site I figure being a police officer in Florida has to be one of the most surreal professions a person can take. I would pay good money to be a ride-alone citizen with the officers on patrol.

https://floridaman.com

The first story is apparently true as its been reported by the “real press”:


I picked the Daily Mail report in the OP because the others didn’t mention that he was a Florida man.
I threw in the second story for coming relief.

I tried to have sex with my beloved sextant but that didnot work out very well…

Any ship engineer worth his salt will tell you that lubrication is the key to smooth performance. Are we off topic yet?

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I take it the sign is expendable. Is that for runaways?