Subject: Hawk V043 - Rocks in the creek
My eyes snapped open with a start. Where was I?.. At sea? At home? In a place all alone?.. Don’t know…. Black night, bright stars, grinning moon up above… Strange… Have been moving fast forward, blurring places, faces and moments in time… then suddenly stop and find – that I’ve been here before. But where, when and why?..
Lost… In a circle I’m wandering back to where it all started. But how?.. Stand dazed and confused, body older and abused. Pain in my shoulder and my leg, in my heart and in my head. Damaged myself with blunders but I’ve also hurt others…. What direction was I going when this journey began – so hard to remember.
From a day dreaming boy throwing rocks in a creek, to a young man scaling mountains, with answers to seek. Then a sailor at sea, a married man with a house, whose smartest move ever - was making his best friend his spouse. Now a father, dog owner and mortgage debt holder. Still searching. Why, am I? …
Crissed crossed the oceans to a hundred ports in dozens of lands, from ice covered mountains to hot desert sands. Met people living their lives so different than mine that spoke many languages but what I did find, was that laughter - never needed translating…
But more questions than answers and found that - more travelled, only meant further to go… The more learned, the less I know…
Somewhere lost the day dreams, ideals and long range sight. Moved forward, worked harder, more money means you’re smarter - Isn’t that right? Or… What is the measure of a life well lived? Seemed that wrong was right, truth was fiction. Honesty and hard work are only for fools… The burden of bitterness, jealousy and guilt for yesterdays wrongs - too much for this fool to carry, past time to break free, move on.
May never know the answer or even the question but at least the direction - is again coming clear.
All I really want to do….
Is watch the sun cross the sky as the day lazes by, and throw rocks in a creek as I soak my tired feet….
Time and tide wait for no man. Sounds like you’ve made plenty of both.
Time to quit and do what I did…Studied hard and became a sundial repairman. Worked great !