I had one captain that rode the stationary bike in full spandex every day after evening meal then he’d jog up to the bridge and cool off by walking back and forth around the bridge for 20 minutes after stripping off every article of clothing except this biker shorts.
But that wasn’t nearly as bad as the evening of my first night watch as 3/m… I had gotten in a bit of a pickle which resulted in my sounding the danger signal… which woke the captain of the give way vessel up without enough time to put pants over his way to tighty whiteys. Unfortunately that vessel was so close that my binoculars were soon bulging with the image of his gut overhanging a barely covered prick.
I was pretty shook up by the whole event not realizing it was about to get much worse!!!
Seconds later our captain appeared on the bridge. It took him longer to arrive than the give way captain because our old man slept au naturel but had the decency to drape his lower half with an oversized towel. The problem came because, instead of running out to meet me on the bridge wing and look directly down at the smaller vessel now passing down our port size at a distance that could be measured with a ruler he went immediately to the radar console and started yelling “Where is he! The radar is blank! I can’t see him!” I couldn’t respond because the tightly whitey’s had left me speechless so the old man assumed that I had screwed with the sea state and immediately started jumping up and down while using both hands to finger fuck buttons and dials on the radar.
I won’t go into any more detail except to say that I’ve read all 619 pages of The Ashley Book Of Knots cover-to-cover and no where does it mention a towel hitch that will hold a large blubbery object heaving violently without at least one hand firmly gripping the knot.
Bu it could of been worse. It didn’t take him long to realize why the other vessel wasn’t on the radar and, while the old man did execute an immediate FULL frontal assault on both my manhood and watchstanding ability, he did have the common courtesy not to put his ass over tea kettle and bend over to pick up the towel!