On one particular Exxon Mobil VLCC there was a sign on a door stating “THIS DOOR MUST REMAIN CLOSED AT ALL TIMES, BUT MAY BE OPENED MOMENTARILY FOR ACCESS”.
Because it was a door, I figured it could be used as it couldn’t be locked (duh!!). A sign saying ‘Keep Closed’ would have been easily understood.
No doubt you guys have seen some classics too!
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I had a sign very similar to this on an ECR door once but an internal auditor made me peel it off.
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Was it on the inside or outside of the ER door?!!! haha
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Maybe a good explanation of why I had such a hard time getting some of the officers to make engine room rounds.
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The signs affixed to the anchor winches that said “Certified Anchor Winch for Use in Navigation” I feel like dropping the anchor means you’ve given up on navigation…
Presumably, the winch can be used to hoist the anchor as well. I’m not an expert, but this seems like a promising first step if one would like to commence navigationing.
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I’ve seen some vessels that have been working in parts of Asia where they have to put up signs to tell people not to stand on the toilet seat with their feet and squat when using it. There are some people who have never used a conventional toilet before only the squatting ones. The sign was of a person squatting with a red circle around it and line through it.
People were actually standing on the toilet seats to squat and breaking them, you could see shoe prints around the rim of the toilet.
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On a rig the Bargemaster insisted on showing me a sign that upset him.
Apparently there is a rule somewhere that fire doors that should be kept closed at all time must have a small glass window so you can see if anybody is on the other side, before opening it. (HSE?)
On this rig the doors to the internal staircase in the accommodation did not have such a window.
An auditor had insisted that the doors had to be marked; " This door may open"
The Bargemaster’s comment; “Stupid!! Everybody know that a door can open”
Must have been an unattended engine room.
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Reminds me of when we turned over the patrol cutters in Vietnam once the SVN crews were aboard they lashed a plank to the deck over the stern.
Spork: in SW asia they don’t want to sit on the toilet… it’s unclean, In the war zone you’d find sani cans that had places for ‘‘others’’ to put their feet which would be just to the outside diameter of the seat most people would use. sometimes it’d be muddy, sometimes they’d ‘miss’ the hole, sometimes you’d find someone wasn’t sure what to do with ass wipe,
and it might be 120 or something too and you’d have to get in there and deal with your body armor, fire arms … jesssssssssssssssszzzzzzzzzzzz, you just adapted.
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More people in the world use squatters that sitting toilets (if they have any toilets at all)
People eventually evolve to sitting on cushioned seats. In colder climates to nice cushioned heated toilet seat as I found in Japan complete with a built in butt sprayer with warm water. They even have an automatic wand that will extend horizontally to the position you program and squirt the warm water up your butt by the mere press of a button if you program it correctly. There is a nice little control panel beside these toilets where you can control the heat, spray position etc., but you need to follow directions. I thought it was great, brought one to my home in the US and installed it. It was a little too high tech for my wife at that time. She accused me of all manner of ill intent.
It was one of the few things I got without a fight when the divorce was settled.
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Killing me tengineer1. LMAO
Picturing a man walking away from his divorce with a fancy Japanese toilet under his arm is just a bit of alright to me. Like a scene from The Jerk. 
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How about a sign stupid people don’t follow in the galley after 6 pm? " Please clean up after yourselves" Those pricks drove my cook crazy at 4:30 in the morning when he woke up to start his day with a full sink of dishes. I was not bashful waking up the guilty parties shortly after falling asleep to remedy their laziness. Instant cure to the problem.
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Not on a ship but a pub in Broom, W. Australia:
"Gentlemen, “Shirt and Shoes after 6 o’clock Please!!!”
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Damn Bug, I think you were in the wrong place, as I think you showed up with shirt and shoes before 6 o’clock