Seasons Greetings 2017-18


a likely story…

although if I lived in a gloomy land of perpetual darkness this time of year with bitter cold I would sleep near 24 hours a day only waking enough to urinate and down a couple more shots of Akvavit.


In Norway the big celebration and family dinner is on X-mas Eve and this year we have ours here in Oslo.
We normally get together somewhere in Asia, (usually Bali) alternating with Aalesund every other year.
But with our move to Norway the whole family travelling to Asia for a short holiday is not practical.


This is another reality in Norway today:


I would say those three conditions are necessary but not sufficient. Those three things would make me feel content. To hit the level of merry (full of cheerfulness or gaiety; joyous in disposition or spirit), still need good meal companions or similar.


What is “column driving” exactly?


A number of cars drive behind a powerful snow plow.
Here is the official instruction to drivers:

Take a trip with a convoy across the mountains to Gol:

Want a longer trip? here is an hour of driving in a convoy across Hemsedalsfjellet.
Part 1:

Part 2:

Don’t try this without studded tires. Foreign trucks are regularly turned away because they have woren out tires, don’t carry snow chains and/or doesn’t know how to put them on.


Season’s greetings to all you mugs and I hope you can help me. My wife bought me a HUMONGOUS flat screen TV for Christmas but there’s a problem; there were some female anchors that I used to think were attractive but now that their faces are the size of a small SUV, their skin looks like the surface of the moon. I’ve tried sitting farther away but it doesn’t help. What should I do?


I think we should get into a long, confusing and ultimately pointless argument about the exact meaning of the word “merry”.


Here is how the expert TV watcher do it.
Split the screen so you can misunderstand several news channels at the same time:

Photo by: Carlos Barria / Reuters


Hey! other than that small tv, that looks like my living room. Are you stalking me bro?


Third world villagers can’t drive in the snow. You should employ them on your ships instead. They work cheap.


I suggest that you drink heavily until they become beautiful again…


They get turned away because they would be a hazard in those condition, not because they are foreigners. Their pay scale is not an issue.

Even if an American on filmstar wages should show up with a truck or car that was not prepared for the conditions he would be refused a place in the convoy.

In fact a film crew with some big time “stars” where refused to do some risky stunt driving in Trollstigen:


tanks…I ttooq yourer advishe and dey loock wonnerfull agin


Where is that and how do I get there with a Ducati and no snow on the road?


That is Trollstigen:

It is closed in the winter, but you can bring your Ducati for a spin any time in June-Sept.


are there loveli lakes and majestic moose I can see there?


For that I can recommend a cruise on Lake Mjosa on the paddle steamer Skibladner:

Fresh Salmon and Strawberry with cream is compulsory.

Elk (Moose in your part) is plentiful in the East and South of Norway, but not on the West side of the mountain chain. Reindeers and Muskox you can find in the mountains and Deers are everywhere.

If you are into hiking on Glaciers, or paddling kayaks on the fjords, the West coast area are for you.


in my parts Elk are Elk and Moose are Moose…they are not the same animal

“paddling kayaks on the fjords”?..what kind of talk is that?!? I might be pining for the fjords though in my moments of melancholy but you will never ever find me sitting in a stoopid kayak!