I find myself feeling depressed when I have to come back to work. I know you all feel the same sort of thing but I guess I’m looking for advice on making the job more bearable. Or maybe even enjoyable.
A few days before crew change I turn into a hermit. Can’t believe my time off is over. Find it difficult to be sociable and upbeat with my friends and family. I tell them it feels sort of like when summer break was ending when you were a kid. They seem to understand.
When I get to the boat it’s always a struggle to try and get along and make good impressions on new people. I am in the engine room. I find it strange, I always get along really really well with the wheelhouse and deck crews for the most part, the engine crew always seems to kinda have tension, maybe it’s just seeing too much of eachother. Often people that are over you seem to be depressed and disgruntled with the job and their own lives. It is a misery spiral.
I always start the hitch with high Hope’s, I’m gonna eat right, and work out at least every other day etc. I am gonna really focus on making good impressions and doing my best. After a week that plan is gone. All willpower has been spent on other daily worries, and you feel like your best just isn’t enough.
I really do try and get along with everyone. I always say that I would rather be on a rusty pile of falling apart crap with a good group of guys, than a perfect boat with a bunch of dicks. But it seems like a good crew is hard to find, and if you get one the office will be sure to tear it apart soon enough.
I think for me the biggest issue is working with people that seem to dislike me right off the bat, and the feeling that I am spinning my wheels and there is no point to it.
Pretty bleak outlook I guess. But I do head back tomorrow so I guess that makes sense.
I would like some advice and ideas about what to do to change my thoughts and emotions surrounding these things. Maybe have a broader conversation about mental health in the offshore industry.
Ps. Do me a favor yeah? The guy you dislike the most on the boat. Next time you see him try and be nice? Think about what his day is actually like. Think about how he views himself in relation to the job. Think about all the issues and worries he might have at home. Has he been doing good work? Let him know. Did he make a mistake? Take it easy on him. There is enough trouble out here without making your own.