Saturday afternoon I have the honor of playing King Neptune during a line crossing ceremony. Any advice? Any comments or phrases I should be sure to use. When whey bow at my feet I am planning on cracking an egg over their head as part of the initiation into my court, but this is my first time play King Neptune and I would like to make it as fun as possible. We are having a bunch of jello and other stuff. The catering crew is taking care of most of that. We will take some plastic to make a tunnel to pass through. Any and all ideas are welcome.
in the tunnel put baked beans, old food scrapes that have set out for 1 week so there are maggots,lots of sour milk,melted butter,old french fry grease,and a bucket of rotten chum,this is poured over there head as they exit the tunnel
Quotes From King Neptune
Who dares to interrupt Neptune?!
This joke has gone far enough!!
My crown is in the forbidden Shell City?!
Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up and it is time for you to die!
this is very interesting
[QUOTE=Capt. Lee;50356]Saturday afternoon I have the honor of playing King Neptune during a line crossing ceremony. Any advice? Any comments or phrases I should be sure to use. When whey bow at my feet I am planning on cracking an egg over their head as part of the initiation into my court, but this is my first time play King Neptune and I would like to make it as fun as possible. We are having a bunch of jello and other stuff. The catering crew is taking care of most of that. We will take some plastic to make a tunnel to pass through. Any and all ideas are welcome.[/QUOTE]
The last person to pass though the tunnel has to eat a stemless cherry out of King Neptune’s belly button…or just pick someone that has false teeth and make 'em take 'em out…you might like that one.
[U][B]Everybody[/B][/U] sucks a raisin out of King Neptune’s lard (and puke) covered belly button.
We had a Queen as well who had a stainless pot scrubber (chore boy type thing) stuffed in their skivies and we had to kiss the pussey whereas your face would be ground into this pot scrubber.
Fill a life raft up with water and food garbage. Crawl backwards under water from one end to the next, only to surface and have to kiss the greased belly of the fattest guy on the rig? 1982. Been there, done that. Shipmate 1
Ah the memories…
They way my ship did the ceremony was that after much hazing and shennanigans, the Wogs were brought in front of King Neptune and the Royal court for worthiness inspection…
The King would ask each why they wished entry into the Royal Order of Shellbacks? And why he should grant such a request from a lowly wog.?.Depending on the answer, they were either admitted which meant they had to kiss the feet of the Queen ,which was some smelly footed guy in a dress and a wig who had all manner of disgusting garbage on his foot…Once you got through with that, there was usually a fat snipe posing as the Royal Baby with the cherry in his navel and his gut was smeared with grease fresh from the engine room…You put your face in there to get the cherry and the snipe would grab your head and mash your face right into the grease…Once through that you had to go through a garbage pile of some sort to wash the Wog scum off of you…
Since we were on a Navy ship they used 2 life rafts end to end and the shellbacks had saved garbage for about a week and added sea water…It was the most disgusting thing you ever smelled…We had to go through the life rafts head first with your arms behind your back or you had to repeat the exercise…
If the answer for admission, was not satisfactory however re-education was in order, this ranged to all kinds of weird stuff…One that i will never forget …We were made to eat this cake while on our hands and knees and it was topped with whipped cream, after you licked the whipped cream off, you saw that a kitchen sponge was underneath…Never asked if they were used or not, didn’t want to know…lol
Lee, I’m glad you are getting into character, this is a day none of your crew will ever forget…Make it memorable…lol…
Do not share a motel room with Shellback as he tries to get you to help him re-live this experience. My girlfriend almost threw me out the day I came home smelling like engine grease and cherries. She kept checking my pockets for $1.00 bills. There was just no way to explain it all away.
The ROYAL BABY is the one who sports the cherries in the belly button, NOT His Highness, King Neptune, Ruler of the Raging Main
Phrases you should practice are either “not guilty”, “no contest”. It’s Hazing. In todays chicken-shit world, expect a law suit from one of the participents…and be careful about alllowing video, sound or photographic recording of the event. Other than that, have fun; I know that I did but that was a different world in a different time.
Let’s see… Here is some of what I remember from my initiation. It all began by mustering all Wogs on the main deck well before daylight for a dousing from fire hoses while dressed only on skivvies. After that most of the day was spent taking whacks from the shillelaghs wielded by Shellbacks and performing various tasks, all while on hands and knees. One task I had to perform was measuring the ship by rolling a hot dog end for end and reporting my “measurement” to a Shellback. Eventually all of the Wogs made their way to the flight deck aft for a dunk in a pool of sea water and food scraps and an interview with King Neptune and his court. Then it was time to eat the cherry out of the belly button of the Royal Baby, who was an overweight Boatswains Mate with a belly smeared in lard and wearing a diaper. Next we were put into a coffin and the lid slammed shut. After the coffin filled with water, the lid was thrown open and we were reborn as Trusty Shellbacks. The whole ceremony took about 12 hours and in the evening afterward there was a barbecue on the flight deck. The next crossing only reinforced that it IS better to give than receive. Oh, and the Shellback certificate was entered into my service record.
[QUOTE=Jeffrox;50378]Phrases you should practice are either “not guilty”, “no contest”. It’s Hazing. In todays chicken-shit world, expect a law suit from one of the participents…and be careful about alllowing video, sound or photographic recording of the event. Other than that, have fun; I know that I did but that was a different world in a different time.[/QUOTE]
Oh…there will be pictures Jeff!!
two of these crossing under my belt: one as a wog & next as a shellback. both on merchant ships, so not as intense hazing as i see others got in the Navy. fun anyway.
muster at exact crossing time. flour, eggs, & garbage all over wogs. they then had to make an offering to neptune by throwing something overboard (a valuable sweat-shirt or some such thing). then they were cleaned by all the shellbacks: “mopped off” with salt water from head to toe. pretty funny.
we had a huge heavy duty tarp rigged up and made into a pool (used fire hoses), last step was they had to jump in the pool.
Skycowboy, during a recent crossing ceremony…
Avast Ye, who be ye to enter my kingdom?
Ye be unfit for entry into my kingdom!
Bow before me!
Be it now proclaimed by call of conch and Nautilus throughout our Oceanic domain that I, Neptune, ruler of the seven seas, do hereby sanction That you but a mere mortal, hath on this 27th day of May, 2011 onboard the West Pegasus be accepted into the ancient rites of our aquatic court.
Rise now and be declared a Shellback.
Clean away the remnants of pollywog from this shellback!
Something went terribly wrong!!
Good fun. Thanks for sharing!
Something went terrible wrong!![/QUOTE]
Yeah, King Neptune isn’t wearing his glasses!