Funny Sh*t my Bosun Says

To an OS with his fly open: “What are you trolling for queers?”

Just heard this one from a ex-navy guy sailing with MSC:

“Bos’ I hear you are retiring next month?”


“You’ve been with the Navy and MSC since Korea, what are planning to do with your life?”

“I’m going to F*&# a fag and smoke a joint. If I enjoy either of these I’m going to put a bullet in my head for missing out all these years.”

Ab Seaman: “That girl you picked up in the Philippines looked like her mom got raped by a junkyard mut.”

Bosun: “Watch your mouth sailor! I come from a long line of Merchant Seaman who have been ply’n these waters since MacArthur was in diapers. She’s probably my sister!”

My old sailing instructor: “You can sweet talk a girl to jump in bed with you but you can’t bullshit your way off a lee shore.”

That’s awesome! Had an AB I worked with that would say ‘we are so poor, we’ve got to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat’

Coming up from the Engineroom as a wiper, first time sailing deep sea with a broken gate valve in my hand

“Hey Bos’n do you have a extra handle to fix this?”

" Yea sure I can fix it." Grabs it from my hand tosses it over the side " fixed"