Oh, man. . that is cruel. . . I love it. . .
That lottery number switch has been used I know of at least twice in our beloved fleet. Both dudes, you had to gut them to get the hook out. Mean, but Hilarious. Even though we told the one dude it was a joke, he still thouhgt he won until he called lottery headquarters in Tallahasse.
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I know this is an old thread but I hope nobody mind me reviving it with this tale
(Copied and translated from a Norwegian FB Group)
One time on an RRF delivery (New Orleans to Tacoma- Crane Ship)- the rumor mill got started that we “were going to get activated and go to a load port right after the next port”… Finally, the Old Man and I got so sick of this bullshit and the unending questions… We typed up a phony message enquiring about the fuel necessary to go to Mc Murdo Station with or without a stop in New Zealand (even had the port- Lyttelton)…
We proudly watched everyone go crazy. Even had the 2nd do a full set of bunker soundings- I stopped the 1st though- he was already making up engine reqs !
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well … a lot of these are a bit beyond. mind, i’ve seen some stuff but sheesh!!!,
doubtful i ever did anything worse than pipe hot air into some cabin, other maladies I generally settled ““out of court””.
Typing up phony messages about next port, crew changes, or new company policies, crumbling them up and throwing in the radio room or Captain’s office trash was a good way to get things started.
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I remember a new purser came aboard that smoked cigars. Engineers knew these would clog toilet vacuum lines, so he was warned not to flush the aforementioned cigars.
Well once at sea his toilet clogged and the branch line secured and toilet removed to snake out the offending stub. This done the engineers asked captain for permission to requisition spares and deactivate the toilet pending receipt of same. Of course this took many days and no cabin reassignment was available but there was a public day head a deck up.
End of cigar problem 
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Probably a low level revenge/victory…
A friend’s father was forced to sail Messman with Mobil for a trip before a Wiper’s job would open up aboard the SS Socony-Vacuum…
He recalled it was the steward department from hell — a cook who was prone to violent threats and outbursts when deprived of alcohol and an old Chief Steward with hearing aids and a bow tie who would “crawl under sinks and stoves to places that hadn’t seen the light of day since the ship was built and come out rubbing any dirt or grime his finger found onto my shirt in disgust.”
Anyway… the Chief Mate, he related, was a “midget who chewed cigars bigger than himself… a real piece of shit human being,” who would toss his cigar butts on the deck of the crew mess in passing for the Messman to pick up.
Angered by this, he saved the butts one day and walked them to the officer’s mess and dropped them there, forgetting all about it until he swung by later to set tables and take care of his responsibilities there, happening upon the old man in the mate’s face calling him a “disgusting pig,” and far worse.
He never saw a cigar butt anywhere on that ship ever again. At the end of that leg he was moved to the engine room and escaped his little bit of hell with a sigh of relief and a malicious grin.
EDIT: This was sometime in the late 60’s I believe.
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Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves
Fuck revenge, yes I’ve sailed with some of the biggest SOB’s in the industry, but not one of those worthless pricks is worth one second of y time to get revenge.
Do your bit, and pay off, or if it’s really bad, just quit, there’s other berths.
Take solace in the fact that time does indeed heal all wounds, it also wounds all heels.
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Also, revenge is a dish best served cold.
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