Once I was in the officer’s mess at the deckies table eating with the captain, the C/E and 1st where at the engineer’s table talking obnoxiously about their sons. Everyone but me lived near Fort Lauderdale. I forget the specifics but the conversation went something like this:
The 1st A/E: “My son is a dentist, he’s so successful that he just bought a black Jaguar XKE with a pearl white interior. That color combination is the rare because they were only sold to british royalty”
The Chief one-upped him saying “That’s nothing my son got his MBA and started his own construction equipment business. He’s doing so well that he just bought a huge Hatteras with one of a kind Indigo blue carpet he had flown in from Egypt.”
Rolling his eyes the captain told them he was sick of hearing about their ‘perfect’ sons. Here’s what happened next:
Chief Engineer: “Oh you’re just jealous Capt.”
Captain: “Not at all”
“Oh really, is your son something better?” asked the C/E with a mischievous grin.
Captain: “Nope: My son is stripper at a gay nightclub.”
Horrified the C/E said : “WOW, I had no idea, I’m SO sorry, you must be really disappointed.”
Capt: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. In fact, he just called me and sounded happy but a bit worried. He just got back from a ‘blowfishing’ trip with his two favorite boyfriends and ran into a sticky problem. He is worried the boyfriend’s wives will find out.”
C/E: “What kinda problem capt?” then winking continued "Us Engineers are good at solving all types of problems "
Capt: “Well they ‘stained’ a few expensive things.”
With a knowing smile the C/E asked: “What kinda ‘stain’ are we talking about?”
“Well this type of ‘stain’ blends perfectly with pearl white leather inside an XKE but, apparently, makes indigo blue Egyptian carpet look like a used kleenex!”