A Hypothetical meeting at BP which lead to the Golf Ball/Shredded Tire Solution

I originally posted this around page on 24 of the Deepwater Horizon thread but it was deleted by admin:

I have no problem with admin for deleting it, it was inflamatory and meant to be so. As such it was inappropriate for the thread.

The Deleted post went something like this:

[U]The meeting which lead to the Golf Ball/Shredded Tire solution:

[/U]BP Executive,
“Good morning gentlemen, in our determined effort to bring this catastrophe under control, I have brought in Wayne Bob, the foremost expert at getting things done”

Wayne Bob,
“Thank ya sir. First, y’all are goin about this all wrong. That there container do hicky ain’t gonna work. It’s Square and y’all’s pipe is round. Hell, my 6 year old son knows that ya can’t put a square box in a round hole! Whatcha need to do is grow a set and stop the damn leak, any fool will tell ya that.”

BP Engineer,
“Um…Mr. Bob, we have been working on possible solutions to that, but we are dealing with a lot of pressure down there. Do you have any ideas?”

Wayne Bob,
Gazes up to the ceiling for a few seconds thinking intently, “GOLF BALLS! Whatcha need to do is put a buncha golf balls in the pipe to stop it up. First, they’re round so they’ll fit. Second, they’re REAL hard!”

BP Engineer,
“Uh, Mr. Wayne. Sir, I don’t think that will work.”

Wayne Bob,
“Son… I been doin stuff like this back when you was 12 beers and seven minutes of heavy petting away from being conceived. Ya ever been hit between the eyes with a golf ball? I’m telling you them things are hard….real hard.”

BP Engineer,
Starting to lose patience, “I agree that golf balls are pretty hard, but I’m trying to tell you that we are dealing with A LOT of pressure here…”

Wayne Bob interupts,
“TIRES!..TRUCK TIRES! Man, you every see what a Peterbilt can haul? Them tires they use got so much pressure in them they can explode like a grenade! Take yer head clean off! Yaa, Steel Belted Tires at that. Boy, ain’t nothing stronger then steel. Still gotta use those golf balls though…they’re round.”

BP Engineer,
“But I’m trying to tell you this is at 5,000 feet…”

Wayne Bob,
“Listen son, I’ve done this sorta thing in Montana at 5,000 feet.”

BP Engineer,
Shaking now, “Mr. Bob. Your talking about 5,000 feet above sea level, I’m talking about 5,000 below sea level. It’s totally different.”

Wayne Bob,
“Listen, I don’t know what they taught you at yer fancy engineer school but 5,000 feet is 5,000 feet. You want me to draw it up for you so you’ll understand?”
Walks over to the white boards and writes, “5000 = 5000.”

BP Engineer,
“That’s absolutely ridiculous! Who the hell are you Wayne…Bob? Who the hell has a name like Wayne Bob anyway?”

Wayne Bob,
Speaking coolly, “Listen you snot nosed little egghead, my legal name is Bob Wayne. When I was knee high to a squirrel everyone used to poke fun at me cause my name was too close to John Wayne. When I was old enough to start fillin out forms and stuff, they asked for last name first…Wayne, Bob. And it just kinda stuck with me. Make fun of my name one more time and I’ll go John Wayne on your ass!”

BP Engineer,
“OK, whatever. I’m sorry Wayne. I’m just saying, I don’t think you know the exact pressures involved here. We are 5,000 feet below the surface trying to stop a leak coming up from a pipe another 18,000 feet below that.
That means the pressure coming up the pipe is… ”

BP Executive cuts off Engineer,
“Mr. Bob….Wayne, whatever your name is, you’re in charge.”

BP Executive exiting,
Turning and putting his thumb up to eye level with a grin, “It’s Get er done!..Right?”

Before everyone gets all offended by this, I’ll tell you this:
I’m a land owning Texan complete with an old '49 Ford 8n tractor. I actually do have duct tape and bailing wire and I use it for just about everything except what is was designed for. Everyone like me knows duct tape is lousy on ducts! We own half the mineral rights on our land and were pretty happy when they did some oil & gas exploration across our land. I’m not against the industry at all.

Point is, I’m not in the industry, but my guess is that a mixture of gas, oil, sand and rock at 10,000 psi would totally disintegrate a golf ball blocking it. Even a Titleist!

But, this is the new plan being sold to us.


So the “Pollution Containment Chamber ” solution hasn’t gone that well. Who could have seen that one coming? Oh yeah, ActivePatriot.Org did. So, the next “solution” is to inject golf balls and shredded tires into the BOP to clog it up.

Is this a viable solution? We don’t know. How many oil rigs have crates of golf balls and shredded tires as part of their contingency kits? They say “Junk shots” have been used and worked in similar situations. Which ones? Was it done on a well drilled 18,000 feet or a few hundred feet?

The government and the media seem to be content with passing this off to us as a viable solution. I haven’t heard a journalist seriously question this yet. Do they really take the golf ball and tire idea seriously? Is this a credible solution or total garbage they are trying to pawn off on an ignorant public?

We don’t know because they will not tell us basic facts about the leak.

[li]What is the actual Depth of the well?[/li]> [li]What is the estimated size of the reservoir?[/li]> [li]What is the estimated pressure at the leak?[/li]> [li]What is the estimated size of the holes in the pipe?[/li]> [/ul]
Was the well drilled closer to 25,000 feet Robert Kennedy Jr. alleges in this video?:

BP does have solid information and estimates on this as do some of the various government agencies involved. From the ground, NASA can inspect the shuttle in space for damage to it’s ceramic heat shields. Surely a submersible ROV can view the leak point and estimate hole size.

We would like to see a well known and respected scientist or engineer get up on FOX News, CNN, NBC, ABC and CBS and tell us the pressure at the leak and then tell us this plan will work.

Please share this with others and demand answers to these questions.


I have this in it’s entirety on our website here:

the original post on our website is here on May 10 2010:

Now again,
Before everyone gets offended. This isn’t just a bad joke. It uses sarcasim to point out the Lies being reported to us as news. Do I have a poltical agenda? No. We are seeking the truth. Sometimes it appears I fall on the “right” and other times the “left”. I am after the truth and I don’t give a damn what side that falls on.

Follow the Deepwater Horizon thread after page 23. You will see how a deleted post changed the conversation and real facts are coming to the surface more. Watch the news on TV, it is catching up also. gCaptain was listed as a source on Wikipedia for the Deepwater Horizon! You play an important role in shaping the news here. gCaptain was removed as a source afterwards! I tried to add you guys back and my submission was rejected. That’s whats up out there.

I think I read your post before it was deleated, but I must say, in this situation, there is no such thing as a stupid idea. One of these “stupid ideas” may just stop this thing, NASA actually has duct tape on their ship’s inventory and in their manuals. As for what you say about the media, I agree with you to a point, in this day and age, these people report as soon as they hear a thing, “ratings, baby, ratings!”. But I know that the people on scene are doing everything they can to stop this thing.

…but I must say, in this situation, there is no such thing as a stupid idea.

I agree with you. I now even agree with some of what I’ve said here and on our own website. But, I don’t regret for a moment my contribution to pressing for facts. The thing is, this catastrophe is getting run the wrong way and there is no real leadership. BP should not be running the show on containment. This affects too many lives to leave it to BP. BP is doing what any other private corporation in the world would do, look out for it’s own interests first and attempt to limit liability. That is exactly why they should not be in charge of containment.

At this point, I don’t blame BP anymore. This is Obama’s Katrina moment and despite his supporters wishes and desires, he is handling it no better than Bush handled Katrina. Off the bat, I alienate everbody in saying that because of their political leanings.

I believe there are people working as hard as they can to stop this, but I don’t believe we are bringing the full resources from our country or around the world to fix it. In fact, I know we are not by how little importance is placed on it by our government and the media. Their main efforts seem to be focused on political damage control. This situation requires a “Mission to the Moon” moment from our Country and it is far from that right now.

yawn… pick nose… look out window… click away from page.

yawn… pick nose… look out window… click away from page.

Longtime gCaptain members are probalby sick of us outsiders coming here and posting, huh? I can understand that. I keep coming here because you guys have the best information on a historic event out there. Like it or not, gCaptain has played an important role even though no one credits them for that.

Maybe not the best joke, but I thought it would at least beat picking your nose!

[QUOTE=ActivePatriot;33167]Longtime gCaptain members are probalby sick of us outsiders coming here and posting, huh? I can understand that. I keep coming here because you guys have the best information on a historic event out there. Like it or not, gCaptain has played an important role even though no one credits them for that.

Maybe not the best joke, but I thought it would at least beat picking your nose![/QUOTE]

Naw don’t mind Richard, he lives in New York City… they are finally letting him have unsupervised internet at 462 First Avenue, and his “yawn… pick nose… look out window” was an accurate discription of what he was doing at the time… damn medication.


Looking back on the situation after reading gobs of information out there I think I would have been more accurate with a Hypothetical discussion between BP executives on a golf course working on containment solutions.

Something more like a jack*** young BP exec looking down at his golf ball on the Master’s course in Houston (close to their office) and coming up with the idea. Would be harder for me to do because I can’t imitate Executives as well because I tend to avoid them.

Well design sounded like a failure waiting to happen from the start, but I don’t know personally. Only time I spent offshore was on LSTs in the Marine Corps.