This right here is what you should take away from this learning experience Seamus. If you’re looking at your fellow mariners for the dating pool, you’re wrong. The women you will work with are your sisters in a very time honored profession. Treat them that way or better. Until women can go to sea without fear of harassment or being treated as “less than” and fair game by their shipmates, we are failing them.
this is well said. your primary concerns on board should be getting the job at hand done and getting home safe. dating is the last thing on my mind at work as it should be. it is a professional environment. doesnt mean you dont make lasting friends a long the way, but no one should have to deal with being hit on or anything like that at work. working at sea can be stressful enough without the added bonus of someone trying to court them.
I know two married couples who met while working at sea. They are outliers and not the norm.
To the OP, while it seems like you wish to find a partner that shares your interest in this work at this point in your life, you will find that any kind of romantic relationship while working with anyone on a ship is a risky proposition. Unlike those other professions that you have stated where people meet at their work place, in this one you also live at your workplace. Separating the two is what makes that possible in the shoreside world and even then it is typically frowned upon by HR with certain exceptions.
The best advice I ever got from a mentor Captain when I was just starting out was if you want to find a long term partner in this line of work, make sure they are the independent type. The kind of person that is happy to see you and spend time with you but also can live their life without you there all the time. This is incredibly important if you choose to have a family with that person. This is not a job cut out for everyone and the same thing can be said for the partners of those that choose this profession.
This is the most cringe-worthy take of 2022 so far, strong contender for the all-decade team.
There was a thread on here about a similar thing in the U.S. Navy.
The idea that having both men and women in a school and workplace will improve the the social environment is rape culture? How so?
The language between what this kid is saying and the navy article are apples and oranges. This kid is objectifying women, and his reasoning comes down to “we need more females in the maritime industry because guys cant find anyone to date and this effects their mental health” while the stripes article says we should strive for at least 25% women in the navy because 46% the civilian workfoce is made of women.
Its rape culture because its essentially saying women belong on ships for men’s social social benefit, not because they are our equals. You and i dont have to worry if our shipmates are just being nice to us so they can get in our pants, thats not a thought in the back of our minds, likely ever. I dont worry if someone is lurking outside my door. I dont worry if the IR is turned off on the bridge camera at night. Whatever malarkey is coming out of this kid’s mouth is why thats something women have to be leary of.
Women belong in the navy because its their counry too. Women belong in the merchant marines because its a good paying job with great benefits.
There is no shanty man onboard anymore, there should be no billett that is an object for crew morale. Get paid and go home.
There is absolutely a bennefit to having women onboard, a crew should be made of a diverse background with different experience to bring to the table, but eye candy is a demeaning reason to promote women in maritime.
No those hospital ships are “so talked about” because everyone aboard is willing to sailing into combat zones and pandemic zones unarmed to help people.
Up to WW2, most women, young and older, worked at home for the family; while most men worked out of their home, far away or in nearby offices or factories. Army and Navy were men only.
Nevertheless, men and women found each other… otherwise we would not be here now.
Reading all these replies and agree with them. I think I may have not made it exactly clear what was trying to covey which let a lot up to interpretation. Or maybe I did but I’m learning from everyone’s replies.
I never meant for the message to be “i cant get girls.” As IMMO said above. I guess that was not conveyed properly by me. What it was supposed to be was that it’s a little more challenging to build connections with girls due to proximity restraints of going to different schools and working different industries. Obviously a lot of people do pull it off while being far from each other for extended periods of time. And they have a lot to sacrifice for being away from their families for so long.
Obviously women don’t live to serve anyone else. I’ve seen a couple things taking about that. They are there for them percent. There to make money and work.
I know I’m looking to learn, assist, and work m when I get on a ship. Going out looking for someone to date is not a goal when going to work. Creepy people harassing someone where they can’t leave us never acceptable.
“There were ~19 other people who should have seen what happend to MIDN X, they all failed her.” Very true
“Every woman i know in the industry has faced harassment to some degree, and the scarce goods argument is not a solution”- agree ^ saying that women would be harassed less if there were more women is not a solution. We all need to look out for our fellow mariners to make sure bad people can’t do bad things.
Very true We should never treat anyone less than anyone else from captain to entry level everyone deserves the same respect and to be treated as a human.
Thank you all for this learning experience! I will definitely take it with me to heart. Muting this thread gotta focus on school. Video is now privated as well. I’d love to get everyone’s opinions going forward into the future it good to hear from everyone who’s been there before.
I leave my headaches on the dock why would I want that offshore
After a super quick scan of this thread, I can see that it’s nothing I actually want to read.