Thanks
A previous prime minister of New Zealand was asked if he was worried about the increasing migration of Kiwis to Australia. He replied "No I’m not worried. It raises the IQ of both countries.
Ethnic jokes in general have been considered unacceptable in the U.S for at least a couple decades now, This started changing in the U.S. maybe 50 years ago.
Most Scandinavian jokes are about Swedes:
Here is an example that will get you friends all over Scandinavia:
(except in Sweden)
Question: What’s the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes?
Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
One more example for the road:
A swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his norwegian
colleague. “The swedes will be the first to send a manned spaceship to the
sun,” he said. The norwegian colleague responded, “But the temperature will
be millions of degrees there!” The swede stood there for a few seconds
thinking, then he said, “Oh, don’t worry, we will be landing during the
night.”
As @244 said.
Some people are thin skinned some not. I am not and have a rhino skin and never miss a chance to have a good laugh even sacrificing national pride or “ patriotism” .
Good LAUGH unites people like a social lubricant. Badly understood political correctness does not.
So come on . Give me as many jokes abt “ stupid effing Polacks “ as You possibly can. I will not be offended as I distinguish between a joke and a slur.
Laugh is man’s best medicine.
@Hogsnort yours abt Kiwis was priceless. I am still rolling with laughter.
Reminds me of the time I was talking with one of my buddies from Scotland… he kept falling asleep when I asked him how many girlfriends he’d had over the years and tried to count them all.
That reminds me sth abt Americans on this forum . .
Tell them You support their J.A. , that You love it and it is the best thing for all since sliced bread and U break ice in seconds .
Some Indians here are good at this technique of pleasing and softing soap. The last words are very useful euphenisms so I do not have to descrobe this technique in detail . . Am I right @retdmarineengineer ?
OK here is Polack joke (sort of):
"A Norwegian and a polish guy is visiting the US and goes atop the Empire State Building, they start talking to an American, and the American throws a dollar of the building, “Why’d ya do that?” asks the Norwegian, the American answers “Ahh, here in America it’s good luck to throw something you have alot of off a building”.
The Polack immediately jumps back and shouts to the Norwegian: “DON’T YOU DARE!”
The Finish guy ISMO -see funny video , says Nowegians eat only “fish-oil” ;-).
Now I know why You are so slick
Guess he was counting sheep!
Hi Spo
We have all kinds of humor … from slap stick to more refined ‘dry humor’ and of course others such as self deprecating and many insulting types.
I think most jokes have a proportion of all types and should be taken lightly unless it is insulting to ANY group of people.
I think the trick is to be able at laugh at yourself. For me, this forum is like the ‘pen friends’ of yesteryear (50 years ago). Nameless and faceless, but share a common love of ships. Guys like you, Bugge, 244, Hogsnort, Ausmariner and many others who have shared private messages with me, makes it worthwhile for me to be engaged. Lot of the contributors are so funny … such as in one of the threads someone says 'I’m fat and ugly to do a role and the response is ‘You’d fit right in’ or another one where Freighterman says … be careful … the ‘tug’ may mean something else. Hilarious!
Take care buddy!
Back in 1989/1990 I was in then Yugoslavia on a ship conversion. There were all the same ethnic jokes I heard growing up but from the Croatian point of view. The blunt of most jokes were the Bosnians,…number 2 were the Bulgarians.
Exactly. Detach yourself from yourself , step aside and look at yourself critically . That is the whole trick and life is lot easier then.
Another funny story. CA 1996. The company had built a class of container vessels. As they could not reach an agreement with the unions, the ships were flagged Marshall Islands (Majuro) and managed by ship management company in Europe. Officers were European (mostly German with a few Brits). I had a few project to execute and would visit the vessels and engage with the Tech super, Cheng and Master to advise them of the plan.
On one vessel, I went up to the Chief’s office to introduce myself and this gentleman handed me his card and says ‘I’m Michael’. When I looked down at the card, I could not get my head upright to further engage with him. His name was ‘Michael Suck’!
Very patiently he explains … no worries, Americans do not know to pronounce the name which is actually ‘Zook’ and instead get embarrassed … at the immigration, at the car rental, at the hotel, at the restaurant when I pay by card and everywhere else I go!
So us Welsh get continuous jokes about shagging sheep.
The one about the wellies is a bit tedious.
You know the one about putting the back legs of the sheep in the wellies and off you go . In all fairness a bit tedious.
So usually I answer.
How tall is a sheep. about this tall.
And how tall am I, around 5,10 ,
And where does my dick stick out, about here.
And where is a sheep s backside, around here. So for my dick to get into a sheep it would Jan to grow around 3 feet and have two x 90 degrees bends.
The answer is not wellies.
Waders
Where are the goddamn jokes abt Polacks??
Ok then . How about that one:
An American, a German and a Pole are interviewing for a job.
The American goes first. Does well and the interviewer asks him to make an observation as the last step of the interview. The American say you don’t have any ears. And gets kicked out
The German has the same exact scenario and warns the Pole not to say anything about his lack of ears
The Pole gets to the final question and tells the guy his observation is that he wears contact lenses. The guy says that’s an amazing observation. How did you come up with that.
The Pole says, you can’t wear glasses… you ain’t got no fucking ears.
Onother:
I’ve heard Lake Michigan referred to as the “Polish ocean.” And the “Polish moon” — the giant illuminated clock at the Allen Bradley plant in Milwaukee (Wisconsin).
Guess why?
You know , because Polacks are too stupid to recognize a real ocean or true moon.
Another:
The devil locked up a German, an American and a Pole in a concrete cell and gave them each two metal balls. ‘I will let you out if you do something with these balls that will truly impress me’.
The German planned an elaborate trick where the balls went all around the cell, knocking off each other before falling in his pocket. ‘Not good enough’ said the devil.
The American juggled the balls until they balanced one on top of the other, ‘Not good enough’ said the devil and went to the Pole.
‘What did you do with the balls?’ And the Pole says ’ I broke one, and lost the other one’.
Another:
Don’t ever go to a soccer game in Poland. Almost ever seat is behind a pole.
Another:
German joke “Come to visit Poland, your car is already here”
polish retaliation:
You know why it’s convenient for Poles to make art exhibition in Germany? Because all polish paintings are already there.
Another:
Why wouldn’t David Copperfield make career in Poland?
Because it’s normal in Poland that something disappears and noone knows where.
Another:
American comes to Poland and gets a tour. First he goes to the krakow market square and the taxi driver explains it’s the biggest square in Europe. The American scoffs and says they have bigger parking lots in America.
The pole says really?! And the American says a meter here or there doesn’t make a big difference.
Next they go to Warsaw and see the pałace of culture( Soviet gift to Poles) . American says in the us even regular houses are so big the vanish into the clouds .
The pole says really?! And the American says a meter here or there doesn’t make a big difference.
Finally the cabbie gets pissed and says in Poland, women give birth through their mouths.
The American in utter shock says really? And the Pole says a meter here or there doesn’t make a big difference.