How to simulate the tug boat experience at home


#1

Thanks to my colleague Joe for the following…Try some of these with your “significant other” at home:

[B][U]How to Simulate Tug Boat Life[/U][/B]

  1. Sleep on a shelf in your closet.

  2. Replace your closet door with a curtain.

  3. 5 hours after you go to sleep have your wife or significant other whip open the curtain, shine a light in your eyes, and say “time to go on watch”.

  4. Renovate you bathroom. Build a wall across the middle. Move the shower head down to chest level. Install the hot/cold, on/off valves ass backwards.

  5. When you take a shower turn off the water while soaping.

  6. Every time there is a storm sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you’re nauseous.

  7. Put diesel oil in you humidifier instead of water and set it on high.

  8. Using a spray bottle filled with diesel oil lightly mist your clothes.

  9. Don’t watch TV except videos in the middle of the night. Take a vote on which one to watch, and then watch a different one.

  10. Leave a lawn mower running in your front room 24 hours a day to provide the proper noise level and exhaust odor.

  11. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

  12. Store your trash beside the chimney for a month.

  13. Wake up every night and eat a peanut butter sandwich.

  14. Make up a family menu a month ahead.

  15. Set your alarm for random times. When it goes off run outside and break out a fire hose.

  16. Once a month take every major appliance apart and put it back together again.

  17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and let it cook for 6 to 8 hours. Call it tow boat coffee.

  18. Invite 6 to 8 people you don’t really like to stay with you for two or three months.

  19. Have a reading light installed under your coffee table and do all of your reading there.

  20. Raise all of the thresholds and lower all top sills in your home so that every time you pass through you hit your head or bang you shins.

  21. Lockwire all the lug nuts on your car.

  22. When making cakes prop up one side while it is baking then level it up after baking with frosting.

  23. Every so often throw your cat in the pool and yell man overboard.

If you have any others, please add to the thread!


#2

I love how this one pops up every 24 months or so. Always good for a laugh.


#3

Don’t forget to tear up hundred dollar bills while your at it, to simulate training costs


#4

[QUOTE=captfish;24791]
If you have any others, please add to the thread![/QUOTE]

Plenty of more HERE


#5

Dont forget to urinate in a ziplock bag or waterbottle while staring out a rain covered windshield because your mate is to frightened to steer right now.


#6

bungee your garbage can to wall.


#7

…,
Randomly pick up three people hitch hiking, drive to a used RV lot, pick out a beater with one flat tire, load it with frozen food that none of you selected, along with a bunch of brainless movies and sit there for at least a month - has to be on a 6 & 6 schedule to get full effect…
MTSKIER