Thanks to my colleague Joe for the following…Try some of these with your “significant other” at home:
[B][U]How to Simulate Tug Boat Life[/U][/B]
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Sleep on a shelf in your closet.
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Replace your closet door with a curtain.
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5 hours after you go to sleep have your wife or significant other whip open the curtain, shine a light in your eyes, and say “time to go on watch”.
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Renovate you bathroom. Build a wall across the middle. Move the shower head down to chest level. Install the hot/cold, on/off valves ass backwards.
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When you take a shower turn off the water while soaping.
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Every time there is a storm sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you’re nauseous.
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Put diesel oil in you humidifier instead of water and set it on high.
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Using a spray bottle filled with diesel oil lightly mist your clothes.
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Don’t watch TV except videos in the middle of the night. Take a vote on which one to watch, and then watch a different one.
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Leave a lawn mower running in your front room 24 hours a day to provide the proper noise level and exhaust odor.
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Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
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Store your trash beside the chimney for a month.
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Wake up every night and eat a peanut butter sandwich.
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Make up a family menu a month ahead.
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Set your alarm for random times. When it goes off run outside and break out a fire hose.
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Once a month take every major appliance apart and put it back together again.
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Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and let it cook for 6 to 8 hours. Call it tow boat coffee.
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Invite 6 to 8 people you don’t really like to stay with you for two or three months.
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Have a reading light installed under your coffee table and do all of your reading there.
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Raise all of the thresholds and lower all top sills in your home so that every time you pass through you hit your head or bang you shins.
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Lockwire all the lug nuts on your car.
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When making cakes prop up one side while it is baking then level it up after baking with frosting.
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Every so often throw your cat in the pool and yell man overboard.
If you have any others, please add to the thread!