I still don't feel any better, dad

[QUOTE=mslilith2000;36931]Hi OICRU12,

When we first got married, both of us shipped. Now I’m the wife and mom back home. This life isn’t for everybody nor does it suit every marriage. But you seem to be well grounded in reality and it also sounds like you enjoy your job. No matter where you work or what you do these two things greatly improve ones attitude about life. Happy with life makes a person happy in general which has a positive effect on everything. At least that’s how I see it.

There are thousands of grownups out there who spent their childhoods with a parent working offshore. The majority that I have met are well adjusted, happy, successful people who do understand what Dad did for a living and why. I think you and your family will be just fine and that there is no cycle to repeat - you grew up under different circumstances. Don’t worry too much over your son’s moods right now. Four year olds are by nature mercurial little beings. When he grows up he’s more likely to remember the fun of talking to Dad on the phone than he is the tears - trust me!

Your post was very touching and very real. I hope you will share with us again whether a good day or a bad one. Best wishes to you.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the female perspective.

[QUOTE=celestialnavigation;36866]I’m not sure of your credentials but have you ever considered teaching at a maritime academy or similar institution? A number of the instructors at my school are working until their kids leave for college and then plan on returning to sea. I believe they still receive sea time in order to keep their licenses current. The money may not be as good but again I’m not aware of the specifics of your situation.[/QUOTE]

No schools close by. cant relocate right now. credentials for a lower level license school not an academy.

thanks for the ideas

[QUOTE=Tugted;36360]You are working for the wrong outfit or need to quit trying to be the high roller in BFE Louisana. I worked 2 for 1 but that was on a harbor tug & we went home after the jobs were done, but if i’ve gotta live on a boat its gonna be equal time. I can’t see where 2/3 of my life needs to be spent on a boat, hell 1/2 is enough. I make plenty of money & made some good investments when i was younger in the real estate market & have in turn got a nice house, boat, truck, & the old lady drives a nice ride as well & my kids went to private preschool before public school. I guess you gulf fella’s think its alright being away that long, but i’ve got hobbies, friends, & a family & if i need extra money i’ll go run a boat @ home for the day & make cash money & go home @ night.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are blessed and I am glad for you. I am just getting started in life and my kids do go to private preschool. I put the important things first.
School tuition falls somewhere in between the light bill and the cable bill. We can always read instead.

I spend all my money investing in my family. That will be my best investment and my legecy in this world.

Kids first, Wife next, God falls in there somewhere and then me.

havn’t spent much on me in a long time. Wife takes care of that for me.

I live in a former port of prosperous shipping and marine transportation. But now I have to travel thousands of miles sometimes to find decent money.

I live in a rural, econimically depresssed county.

So I will do what I can and enjoy the times at home to the fullest.

I have been around home more latley anyway so I am feelin much better about being a part of my kids’ lives.

We aint never tried to keep up with the Jones. We got our little piece of dirt and we have made it our own. But we pay big city prices for everything because we live too close to the big city.

Middle class used to be and still is considered to be by alot of people with at least one parent making 50k / yr.

My wife even works part time to keep up benefits on her and the kids while I trip.

But we would not have what we have and be as blessed as we are if I did not keep our income over 100k / yr.

Most “regular”, “middle class” couples both work. In most suburban areas each parent will make around 40k give or take / year. Combined income of 75-100k per year. That’s what it takes to make it where i come from. Two can make it and pay the babysitters to raise your kids or one can make it and one can stay home with the kids.

maybe if we lived whre prices wernt so high we could get by on a 1/1. But just like you most guys I have worked with that work a 1/1 dont’ need it as bad. It’s easy to say what you will and won’t do when you have money.

But I can go down to the home depot and pick up as many good hard working men as I want and pay them cash to do a hell of a job too.
But Pancho and Sancho don’t have any investments or the luxury of turning any work down either.

[QUOTE=cmjeff;35532]
//youtu.be/We1BVMmcr2A
[/QUOTE]
Yes, it sounds like a sad country song you know, right? Only thing missin is gettin drunk, pickin momma up in the rain after she just got out of prison, and runnin over the dog somewhere in the process. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

[QUOTE=injunear;36071]Don’t feel sorry for me! If I were still married to her, I couldn’t have retired at 56.

Several years ago, there were over thirty of us on the bus from Baltimore airport to the SIU school at Piney Point. Divorce was one of the topics of discussions. Out of all on the bus, (not counting a newly wed), my captain was the only one still married to his first wife.[/QUOTE]

Now that is a sad country song there.

That is the sadest thing I have heard in a long time. How many kids were involved total? How many broken hearts and shattered dreams?

I chose wisley the first time. We are in it for the long haul no matter what.

OICUR12

I felt so sad for your boy remembering when my own father was away at sea. I don’t remember when he was first gone, But I remember clearly when he told me that his duty allowed mom and I to live well. At 9, I accepted that answer, even though I didnt fully understand. Now -after having been in a workforce for some time, I realize the true value of time with one’s family. As long as one can make the most of the time together- that could be a focus worth working for

Horatio