In a confidential secret leak from the Unified Command Center this evening states that Shell has had a massive airlift of magical fairy dust flown in from Disney World and plans to do an overflight in the morning to spray it on the rig. Glynda (the good witch of the North) has also flown in to Kodiak on a chartered jet and will personally direct the release of the dust. The tension in the nerve center of the salvage operation is palpable tonight. Is it going to be enough dust for the job? Engineering calculations are that at least 2.62mt of dust must land on the decks of the rig in order for it to float above the level of the sea.
Codenamed “Operation Bibbity Boddity Boo”. it is expected to take place as first light. Heavy drinking is expected to take place in Kodiak overnight in preparation for tomorrow!
Standby this station for breaking developments are they come in!
Until then. this is ace reporter Kermit D. Frog reporting from Koosbayn Island, Alaska
.