Some hipsters had the balls to come down to the docks today looking for “Bearded Sailors” willing to be photographed for their fashion magazine. They said “sailor beards are the new black” (whatever the F that means) and asked where they could find “real sailors” with beards. They said something about finding a true life version of the most interesting man alive. I said “come again?” and they texted me this picture as an example:
I said “You want to point camera’s at real salts?” then I asked them how much of hazard pay bonus were they getting for this assignment and pointed them to the bosun’s locker. 3 minutes later our new friends emerged pleading for their lives! I couldn’t stop laughing!!
When I finally stopped laughing hours later I swung by the break room and our bosun Chris (who was nicknamed “Da Boot” but now answers to “Christy Turlington”) was tossing around the question “who is the saltiest sailor ever?”. Christy says it’s John Wayne from “They Were Expendable” but I said he was disqualified for being beardless. I said it was Steve Zissou but Christy claims that all captains are bastards and don’t qualify.
So the questions are
[I][B]Who’s the saltiest sailor ever?
Who had the saltiest beard you’ve ever seen? [/B][/I]
[QUOTE=albertpachino;111452]Holy shit, you just can’t make this up.
Some hipsters had the balls to come down to the docks today looking for “Bearded Sailors” willing to be photographed for their fashion magazine. They said “sailor beards are the new black” (whatever the F that means) and asked where they could find “real sailors” with beards. They said something about finding a true life version of the most interesting man alive. I said “come again?” and they texted me this picture as an example:
I said “You want to point camera’s at real salts?” then I asked them how much of hazard pay bonus were they getting for this assignment and pointed them to the bosun’s locker. 3 minutes later our new friends emerged pleading for their lives! I couldn’t stop laughing!!
When I finally stopped laughing hours later I swung by the break room and our bosun Chris (who was nicknamed “Da Boot” but now answers to “Christy Turlington”) was tossing around the question “who is the saltiest sailor ever?”. Christy says it’s John Wayne from “They Were Expendable” but I said he was disqualified for being beardless. I said it was Steve Zissou but Christy claims that all captains are bastards and don’t qualify.
So the questions are
[I][B]Who’s the saltiest sailor ever?
Who had the saltiest beard you’ve ever seen? [/B][/I][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Skoidat69;111472]I guess I need to shave my beard off or I’ll get mistaken for a fuckin’ hipster… I guess my Duck Dynasty starter beard needs to go soon…[/QUOTE]
is it really true they have a reality series called “Duck Dynasty”?
CHRIST! IT SEEMS EVERY STOOPID WABOE IN THE COUNTRY’S GOT THEIR OWN SHOW! HOW THE HELL DO I GET ONE OF THOSE? I CAN BE STOOPID TOO YOU KNOW!
I will say that I have worked in Alaska with some mariners who truly had the most awesome seaman’s beards and there have been times in the past when I have let my own grow out pretty full and thick but I usually keep it close trimmed for comfort. There is definitely something about working at sea in the north and being bearded which naturally go together.
Natural facial insulation is one good reason! A place to hide your bottle is another!
Answer to both: Sir Ernest, and whatever his beard looked like, when he set off on the James Caird to sail 800 miles through the Southern Ocean on a 22’ open boat. In winter.
The cadet had to “shave” his beard today in preparation for impending crew change, allegedly his fat fiancé takes offense to facial hair. Not that he really had much beard going for him of course but this is a day after he was raving about how he wanted to be just like myself and the ABs, all of whom do not clean shave.
How the hell do you guys clean shave? Going on 3 years in a week or two since the last time I did.
The cadet had to “shave” his beard today in preparation for impending crew change, allegedly his fat fiancé takes offense to facial hair. Not that he really had much beard going for him of course but this is a day after he was raving about how he wanted to be just like myself and the ABs, all of whom do not clean shave.
How the hell do you guys clean shave? Going on 3 years in a week or two since the last time I did.[/QUOTE]
I was told as long as I kept my face clean shaved, well, she would stay clean shaved, too. . . . .
While always neat in the 31 years I have been alive I have never seen his face without at least some form of facial hair. Most of the time a beard. He rocked a pimp mustache in the 80’s but I think that had to do more with trying to cut in it in the real world during the 80’s oil crash. But that only lasted like 3 years before he went back on the water.
[QUOTE=c.captain;111475]is it really true they have a reality series called “Duck Dynasty”?
CHRIST! IT SEEMS EVERY STOOPID WABOE IN THE COUNTRY’S GOT THEIR OWN SHOW! HOW THE HELL DO I GET ONE OF THOSE? I CAN BE STOOPID TOO YOU KNOW![/QUOTE]
Your kidding me? You don’t know of Duck Dynasty and their cult following?
These guys are so backwoods redneck they’re cool. The women flock to these guys. (Might have something to do with their multi-million $ duck call business - that and the show making them all millionaires)
Can’t believe I have to 'splain everything to you old far… 'er salts. Beards are the new Black - sheeze you old salts don’t know nothing. This could be the next big thing in fashion. gCaptain could sell calenders of bearded old studly mariners and make a killing. You guys could get royaltys.
