"series of “stupid events”
"misdemeanor possession charge -tried to charge me with a felony
house arrest for 2 months+
“regardless of having a medical recommendation (California)”
“Five years on a soul sucking job”
“horrible alky like 80% of MSC”
“it’s true one f*&( up haunts you a lifetime”
(Proving excuses for bad behaivor)
I mean on personal bearing by this but these are not reasons but are symptoms of much bigger issues that you need to personally address. I have seen this before and it is likely you have other major issues like personality disorder, alcoholism, sexual additions, anger management problems, poor driving record, poor credit, money problems and a list of other issues not address here. And please don’t.
As far as the drug issue (still part of a bigger problem), see a doctor and confess that you have an irresistible compulsion to consume intoxicants. Seek medical help from a qualified provider (treatment program, in-house or otherwise) and provide that information to a future employer and the Coast Guard.
You are not a stupid ass but you have had more than one f*&( up. The issues that caused you to get you where you are today, and your insistence to ignore and blame/deflect is well beyond help you’ll find here.