Go plug this in and make me a latte. (Best watch ever!)


#1

So today we pull into port and the agent arrives with a new coffee machine the old man bought with our safety bonus. Smiling like a kid on Christmas the capt says to me “This things got every feature in the book, it’ll even give you a blowy if you talk nice to it. Got plug it in and make me a latte” FU, I think then the light bulb went on!

So while the AB pieces it together I go print out a sign to place on it.

The next three hours was the best bridge watch ever :cool:


#2

Haha. Nice! (Mean, but funny…)


#3

I am just jealous of the coffe machine!! It looks nice!!!


#4

GODDAMMIT…just give me an effing Bunn and be done with it! I want dark, hot coffee in large quantity when I come on the bridge in the morning and not have to talk nice to the little piece of shit in order to get it!

Now give me a machine programmed to respond to my profanity and you’ll have something there!


#5

BTW here’s the sign we put on our last coffee machine after it broke


#6

[QUOTE=c.captain;110980]GODDAMMIT…just give me an effing Bunn and be done with it! I want dark, hot coffee in large quantity when I come on the bridge in the morning and not have to talk nice to the little piece of shit in order to get it!

Now give me a machine programmed to respond to my profanity and you’ll have something there![/QUOTE]

I too was a Bunn man on the ship and a dunkin donuts man on shore. Then my son introduced me to my new favorite coffee shop. We go every morning when I’m home and order;

[I][B]2 Triple Venti Sugar free, 1/2 Non fat, 1/2 soy No foam, caramel, mocha, cinnimon, with whip caramel macchiato. Then pour regular coffee down the side with 2 packs of raw sugar and a stir stick on the side. And don’t forget the cardboard cock-ring so my palms don’t get burned.[/B][/I]

They taste like liquid turd and costs $6 each but it takes her 10 minutes to make and she works up a nice sweat :slight_smile:

[ATTACH]3493[/ATTACH]


#7

LOL, I just spit up my coffee. You should take your show on the road al! Brilliant!

I go to Starbucks and order this


#8

Where the f are the engineers? I know if our coffer pot were to break down below we would drop everything to fix it. " sorry capt, you can’t have standby yet coffee machine broke"…lol


#9

[QUOTE=brjones;110995]Where the f are the engineers? I know if our coffer pot were to break down below we would drop everything to fix it. " sorry capt, you can’t have standby yet coffee machine broke"…lol[/QUOTE]

How’s the engineer going to fix a fried circuit board? These fancy machines the old man buys got more buttons than Czechoslovakian lingerie.


#10

[QUOTE=c.captain;110980]GODDAMMIT…just give me an effing Bunn and be done with it! I want dark, hot coffee in large quantity when I come on the bridge in the morning and not have to talk nice to the little piece of shit in order to get it!

Now give me a machine programmed to respond to my profanity and you’ll have something there![/QUOTE]

Here’s one for you c.capt :wink:

//youtu.be/-f_dxLiuXuw


#11

[QUOTE=“albertpachino;110990”]BTW here’s the sign we put on our last coffee machine after it broke

[/QUOTE]

That’s a great idea for my adult day care, AKA my Crew.


#12

You would be surprised what can be fixed or jimmy rigged when you have no other means for coffee. I actually had an electrician rewire fried element once.


#13

[QUOTE=brjones;111006]You would be surprised what can be fixed or jimmy rigged when you have no other means for coffee. I actually had an electrician rewire fried element once.[/QUOTE]

of course there is the time I was tossing the grounds over the side the feed the fish and dropped the filter basket in the process…got to watch it drift away into oblivion and of course no spare aboard so no more bridge coffee. I was roundly cursed by the mates of that and one of the AB’s tried to make a replacement out of sheetmetal but to no avail, that didn’t work. To make me more hated, two days later I crewchanged off to leave all the miserable fucks to suffer my stoopidity but it wasn’t my fault!.

Now, what are those darkgrey fish in the Gulf that love to eat used coffee grounds?..it’s their fault for being so entertaining!


#14

[ATTACH]3495[/ATTACH]

No break downs here :wink:


#15

[QUOTE=rshrew;111018]No break downs here ;)[/QUOTE]

You are obviously much too young to remember these old timey gizmos…

but I sure as hell do! Can’t get a more scalding hot cup of Java than out of a percolator and it’s got to be had in a heavy white porcelain mug just like the one in the pic but never washed out lest you bring bad luck to the boat!

In fact, thinking about it, that’s how I plan to make hot Joe on the ORCA on top of my oil fired Dickinson Adriatic range!


#16

I have one in my camping gear they are awesome.


#17

This is my weapon of choice:

$25 and it makes the perfect cup, strong and hot!


#18

[QUOTE=john;111030]This is my weapon of choice:

$25 and it makes the perfect cup, strong and hot![/QUOTE]

looks like some find of device for a bull dyke…

I know, let’s ask Kathy Hanft…she’ll know what to use it for!


#19

[QUOTE=c.captain;111033]looks like some find of device for a bull dyke…

I know, let’s ask Kathy Hanft…she’ll know what to use it for![/QUOTE]

If I have nightmares tonight then you and Albert are going on my shit list! :wink:


#20

[QUOTE=john;111048]If I have nightmares tonight then you and Albert are going on my shit list! ;)[/QUOTE]

sorry in advance…