The best quote from a Captain I have is "I'm gonna go home and f*ck my ol' lady till my dick falls off." Sorry for being crude, but this was said to me on my return from my first job as a mate, as we were coming in to Lake Charles, La. Captain, was a bit of a crude man, and like his alone time, but seemed to take a liking to me, and when ever we were in the river, he'd call me up to the wheelhouse, and like shooting the shit with me.
My second quote is from an AB, named Rock, which describes him to a t. and it was "son, i'm gonna f*ck you in the ear so you can hear me coming." the story behind this, was Rock was an older man, with a much younger wife, I dont think anything else can explain that.
Rock can also be explained by the following picture, we were working on a dive vessel in the gulf, and when we'd use our crane, the railings would come down. Rock felt it was unsafe to have all the divers near the edge of the deck, so he asked the captain if he paint a warning on the deck. The night before he painted it, he asked me how to spell "caution" and "danger" afternoon watch came, and he told me he'd be painting, so after I was relieved, I went on deck to see what he had done and I came across this. DAN9ER. Enjoy