In the last few days I've talked with a good number of American masters and few had any answers but all wanted to tell me of sleepless nights and... Tears. In the ten years I've been running gCaptain I've only heard 2 captains break down in tears... this week I've heard more.... and I have cried more than once myself.
I don't know why this event has shaken me so hard any more than I know why the el faro got so close to that storm So I wrote this poem (the first I've ever published) to express my thoughts. It's titled "I do not know why the captains cried" and is dedicated to the families of the el faro crew.... so they know they are not alone tonight when their tears start running.
I don't know why the captains cried
inside the maelstrom of our minds
thoughts rolled about they tossed they spit
We thought we could hold back the tide
As we donned dark glasses just in case
And batten the lids across our eyes
As our minds fill with the dark deep
The brine began to leak that day
Through two dogged lids it poured and poured
down tired walls the water flowed
To fill the pot marks and scars we face
It lifted oil and mixed with snot
Then flowed by unkept stalks of grey
Our beards became bayous and Boggs
As the tears flowed freely down our face
Why did all the masters weep?
When one vessel sailed through our minds one day?
Are we not strong and stout?
Why did the el faro go that day?
That day before we cried.