Dear Capt A,
I am 38 years old and have been in perfect health most of my life, in fact I’ve never taken more than a handful of Motrin, but recently I’ve found myself in dire straights. Here’s my story:
It all started 3 months ago with the renewing of my license. The application included my latest medical assessment which stated that I was in perfect health, a true statement at the time, but soon I got a call from Melissa, a civilian working at the NMC, with a long list of clerical errors. She told me that I messed up nearly every form I submitted and even sent 2 forms that where completely unnecessary. The forms took nearly a month of frequent calls with Melissa to sort out and in that time she told me I, like many of the mariners she deals with, am probably ADD.
So I went to a shrink and soon walked out with a bottle of ritalin and a new grasp on my life. It was life-changing. I could see clearly for the first time ever and no longer fell asleep on night watches or made any stupid navigational errors. The cloud seemed to lift instantly from my brain. So I called Melissa with the good news and, with my new skills of perception, realized she was hitting on me. I began to loose sleep at night thinking of the voice on the other end of the phone so I returned to the shrink and left with a bottle of Ambien and anti-anxiety medication. Goodbye sleepless nights!
Well rested and feeling mellow - yet clear - I finally had the courage to call Melissa and ask her out on a date. But each time I tried to make the call my heart started racing. Days later, at a routine cholesterol screening, the rig medic said I needed to lower my heart rate or I’d face an early death. So I was sent to the company doctor who gave me some heart pills and a taxi voucher to the medical testing lab. At the lab they took blood, piss, salavia and, just when I thought it was all over, they gave me a zip-lock bag containing a small cup and a dirty magazine. Well I’ve never had “performance” issues before but the magazine just wasn’t cutting it. Melissa’s siren of a voice kept playing over-and-over in my head but… I still had never met her. Without a picture of her in my mind I just couldn’t complete that last test. So, returning to the doctor, I got a handful of blue pills and instructions to return to the lab in a few weeks time.
Later that day, as luck would have it, Melissa called to say that my license was ready and she suggested that I pick it up in person! Fearing that I’d never be able to manually stimulate myself again until I found out what she looked like I booked a flight to West Virginia and… WOW. She was a knock-out! We instantly hit it off and, with the help of my new medicine chest, we started having the best s-e-x of our lives. I felt like Barry Bond’s on a home run streak and she felt like the goddess aphrodite (her words, not mine).
My problem is that my life is now perfect. The ritalin, ambien, viagra have really changed my life for the better. I’m so good in fact that now I can shoot backsights of uranus both in the pilothouse and in bed! My question is… do I stop taking the pills and risk loosing my relationship or disclose the drug use to the NMC and risk loosing my license?